91. It only gets harder from here

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Ghost hasn't really been talking to me these past few days. Everyone has been acting full of pity towards me but Ghost... Ghost ghosted me.

I should file for divorce.

But I don't have the energy.

I just sort of lay in bed most days.

How could Ghost do this to me?

-Ghost's POV-

I don't know what to do.

I was almost a father.

I can't be a father.

What if I become like my dad?

I can't make my family go through that.

I looked up.

The only light in the dark room was from the amber of my cigarette.

I don't know what to do.

YN hates me.

She doesn't want me near her.

Who would?

I'm a failure.

I failed my wife.

My wife who never loved me but I still wanted to provide for.

I should have been there for her.

But... I didn't think she wanted to see me.

I buried my face into my arm and sighed.

I could hear Soap and Gaz on the other side of the door talking.

They were trying to decide whether or not to knock and come in.

I don't want visitors.

Price came along and told them to leave me alone so they left.

YN hates me.

We agreed not to have kids.

But I don't know.

I don't know I don't know I don't know.

What don't I know?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

I don't know anything anymore.

I want to go see YN.

But does she want to see me?

Probably not.

Why would she?

I failed her.

What have I ever done for her?

Nothing.

All I've done since I met her was hurt her.

Make her uncomfortable.

Make her hate me.

She has full freedom to leave me.

Why does she keep coming back to me?

Probably because she needs the money.

But she's not that kind of person... I don't think.

I love her so much but I don't know how to help my wife.

I'm not a man.

-YN's POV-

Knock knock knock.

I stared at the wall and the door opened.

"Hey YN..."

Soap poked his head into the room.

"I brought you dinner. Why don't you try to eat a bit? You haven't touched anything in three days...."

I was to tired to look at him or to speak.

I'm to tired for anything really.

"Come on, YN! You need to eat something! I know it's hard, I can't imagine what you're going through at the moment..."

I closed my eyes and silently cried.

"I'm sorry, YN. I'm no good at comforting. But you need to eat something!"

"I'll make sure she eats."

I opened my tear filled eyes when I heard Ghost speak.

"Ghost, you're here!" Soap gasped.

"Price made me come out of the room. I'll make sure she eats. Thanks." Ghost closed the door and walked over.

"So you're only here because Price made you?"

"Yup."

"Amazing. You sir, are my dream come true..."

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