wish // 5SOS

7

Charlie

I was right, Calum was loaded. We didn't even go in the cheap shops. He took us straight to the nice ones, letting me pick out some outfits. Some of them were old people vibes, but I liked the plain colour outfits. I had to stray from all black for clothes that fit me, but for once in my life I rather liked the idea. I got some thin jumpsuits to wear, and we got me tshirts and jumpers. He got me more pants and socks, and a necklace I had seen that I liked.

I liked the feeling of being spoilt.

"Thank you for all of this. I have never been bought so much in my life,"

"You are very welcome,"

"I feel like a guardian angel sent me to your house,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. My nanny. She was always so lovely, and she always said if I had a baby she would watch over me. She always wanted to have grandkids, it was all she ever spoke about,"

"That is lovely,"

"Yeah. I think she might have known I needed a good adult. My mum was awful but my nanny was nice. I used to live with her but one day I woke up and she... didn't,"

"I am sorry, she sounds like she was amazing,"

"She was. She wouldn't want me having a baby this young," I said, smiling, "Would've slapped me round the face, then given be a big hug and told me it was all okay,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You are the first adult who told me it was all okay since I got pregnant. Or since she passed, really,"

He hugged my side and I couldn't help but smile at realising my nanny probably did send me Calum. I had immediately felt like I could trust him, and he reminded me of her in an odd way. I dunno, maybe it was silly, but it made me feel better. Sometimes this moving around thing really isolated me, so I spoke to anyone who would listen. Calum listened.

We grabbed some food, then went home as I was honestly drained from my emotions. He made me a cup of decaff coffee and insisted I put my feet up, bringing down my blanket for me.

"You have had a tough day, you need to relax before school tomorrow,"

"I am okay,"

"If you wanna talk about anything then I am all ears,"

"I think I said it all during the appointment,"

"Yes," he laughed, "I suppose. I will go and ring the social worker,"

He passed me the tv remote so I turned it on, but mainly went on my phone now it was charged again.

He was on the phone for a while, so I shut my eyes and had a little nap. Even the sofa was like a cloud. I felt so comfortable here, and I hoped I could stay. It would make me feel a lot better knowing where I would be when it was time to give birth, because at the rate I was moving I wouldn't be surprised if I was out the bloody country. I just wanted to settle somewhere for a bit.

Like I had told Calum, I did live with my nanny for a bit, and she was great but unfortunately did pass away. My mum never took care of me. I wasn't fed, bathed, consoled or praised. Calum had already done all of that (besides the bathing of course, but he had a very nice bathtub). I knew she had a problem and she was getting help but I wasn't sure I wanted her in my life anymore. I wasn't allowed to talk to her right now and I felt like that was enough to tell me I shouldn't contact her even when I could.

"Charlie, wake up honey,"

"Huh?"

"Wake up,"

"I am," I yawned, "Can I stay?"

"Yeah, it's all been okayed,"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"It is my pleasure! I think we would both feel better with you here,"

"Thank you so much. Today has made me feel so many emotions but right now I am relieved. My babies are okay and I get to stay in the same place for what? 4 months? That's the longest I have ever stayed anywhere since I was put into care,"

"Oh bless you,"

"Still can't believe there are two fuckers,"

"Double the trouble ay?" he said, sitting next to me, "I am glad you feel relieved,"

"Do you really think someone will want to adopt twins. They are not being separated, Calum. I would rather keep them and give them a shitty life than separate them,"

"There will be someone,"

"I am not horrible. I do love them but I think they need a better life than I had. I do want kids one day but... but this wasn't meant to happen,"

"It is your decision, and whatever your decision is, is okay," he said, wrapping his arms round me.

"I feel awful. I bet you wanted kids. I bet you think I am awful,"

"You are far from awful. You are being selfless. I know it is gonna be hard, and eventually one day they will find out about you and maybe want to meet, or not meet, but no one thinks you are horrible. There will be lots of different emotions across a very long period of time about this!"

"Yeah. I just, I don't have a place, I don't have any other family, no money. They could just get taken off me into care anyway so I want them to settle in the same place forever,"

"Yeah. You have me now though,"

A small smile crept on my face and I nodded, leaning into his side. He felt like missing family I had never had. I hoped when I was gone I could still talk to him.

"They have a super good dad. My genes are probably crap but at least half their genes are good. Or is it a quarter because they are twins?"

"Half,"

"Are they identical twins?"

"Nope,"

"Omg! Two different faces! That is fun. I hope they are treated like separate people,"

"Ally and Axel are twins. Well... technically they are half siblings but they were born less than 24 hours apart,"

"Wait... oh. Damnnnn,"

"Self proclaimed twins,"

"Who got given up?"

"Not my story to tell,"

"You are rubbish for getting the tea," I grumbled.

"Yep. At least you know I am not dishing yours out,"

"You told that friend I am pregnant,"

"Everyone can see that,"

I giggled and closed my eyes, putting my arm round him. I hadn't had a hug in ages, but he had given me at least 3, and it was safe to say I was now craving hugs every second of the day. I wanted to not be the grown up person for once, and in a hug I wasn't. I was slot in the arms of the grown up who was gonna actually be the grown up.

That was all I had wanted for so long.
A grown up.