wish // 5SOS

14

Calum

"Dress day!" I said, bringing Charlie a glass of water as requested, "Your makeup looks nice,"

"Thanks. Can I ask to go somewhere please?"

"Be my guest,"

"The dentist,"

"Not what I was expecting," I laughed, "But yes, of course,"

"Well, Ally has such perfect teeth, but my gums are all swollen and my teeth hurt sometimes and then I was reading this can happen in pregnancy and you have to sort it out because babies can be born too small or too early and I don't want that,"

"Yeah, that is okay. We can go,"

She seemed to do this thing when she talked where she got faster, and more high pitched, and her whole body got tense as she spoke, even when I had already said yes.

"Ally was so perfect,"

"Ally whitens her teeth, gets her eyelashes done, gets her hair done, gets her nails done, and had a lucky growth spurt,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah... only after her new boyfriend," I mumbled, "She wasn't always so put together, I promise!"

"Okay,"

"You are beautiful,"

She shrugged, so I gave her shoulder a squeeze and left her to get ready since she had her music on. I sat downstairs until she came, then got my shoes on and grabbed my wallet and car keys.

"Wanna play your music in the car?"

"Really?"

"Of course,"

"Thank you so much, Calum. I would really like to,"

"That's okay,"

"Everyday you are more and more kind to me. I feel very overwhelmed,"

"I can tell," I said quietly, gently rubbing her arm, "Charlie, had anyone ever spoken to you about maybe having anxiety?"

"No,"

"Okay. Well, I think you might have it, and if you want to see a special doctor who knows how to stop you feeling all overwhelmed with things then you can,"

"They exist?!"

"Yeah,"

"Would I waste their time?"

"Not at all!"

"But would they lock me up somewhere? Or take me away from you? Or make me keep my babies? Or,"-

"Charlie. Most people don't think all of those possibilities about every single thing,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah,"

"I think maybe I am just overwhelmed because no one has been kind to me before,"

"I think that definitely plays a part, and I think you have anxiety,"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. But, I want you to know I am here to talk to if you feel panicky, and that there are people to support you. When you have been through a lot of tricky experiences it can usually make people a bit anxious,"

"Have I been acting all weird?"

"No!"

"Okay. Fuck. Whys not one ever told me?"

"I don't know!"

"You are so smart, Calum,"

I chuckled, but knew she was serious. It was killing me that she felt this way and didn't know why. She was beating herself up about it, when really, she had a lot of trauma, and quite frankly a lot of things to be anxious about. I felt like I was perhaps overwhelming her with a lot of opportunities she hadn't had, small, but clearly meaningful to her. I wanted to give her lots of things, but thought perhaps I should now let her settle in with what we had.

When we got to the shop, she tried the dress on again, looking even more beautiful in person. She seemed very pleased with it too, so we took it with us. I was extremely excited for tomorrow. My Gabi getting married. That was something that was only a dream for so long. Each milestone we hit I became more and more grateful for life, and I knew we all took it very preciously.

"I bet Gabi's dress is going to be so pretty tomorrow,"

"Me too. I might cry!"

"Oh. I don't know how to handle you crying,"

"You don't have to,"

"Okay, good. Sorry. I struggle with other people's emotions sometimes," she said, breathing out heavily, "Sorry,"

"Let's just take some deep breaths,"

She did as I said and then plastered a smile on her face, leaning over to hug me. She was obsessed with a good ol' hug, but I didn't mind.

"I am sorry,"

"Stop apologising... please,"

"Okay,"

"You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. It takes a lot of time to adjust to somewhere new, and I expect it is even harder when you haven't had chance to do it for a while,"

"Yeah,"

"Still up for a movie?"

She nodded, so we made our way back to the centre of town and found a good parking spot. As we walked, she was very close to me, so I put my arm round her and she shuffled into my side, chewing on her thumb. I supposed maybe she was nervous for tomorrow too.

I knew I was. We had the dress and suit, and an early start, then the rest was out of our hands which I didn't like. Still, I trusted Gabi and Maddox to have planned it all very well and knew it would be beautiful. There wasn't anyone else in the world that deserved a beautiful wedding more than Gabi. I was beyond excited to share the joy, the love, and all inbetween with two very amazing people. And, I was glad Charlie was here too, to get involved in celebrating our family, because I truly felt she was going to be a valuable part of it.

"Calum?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Please may I have a drink?"

"Of course. Would you like popcorn or anything?"

"Popcorn?!"

"Yup,"

"Yes please,"

I got us a large one to share, then we chose a film and went to our seats, Charlie taking the popcorn onto her lap. I just let her have it, I had eaten cinema popcorn many times, and she was living her best life.

The film was pretty good, and at the end, she poured the leftover popcorn out, then carried the box with her. I was quickly learning to not question her actions.

"Home?"

"Yes please. I think they found the film too loud,"

"Uh oh,"

"They're mad,"

"They'll get over themselves,"

"They got my attitude," she giggled, "Thank you for bringing me to this film, it was the best thing ever. I feel so grateful,"

"You are more than welcome,"

"I don't want to get attached to you but I think I might be,"

"Even if you move, you still have me as a grown up, okay?"

"Okay. I think you are my best grownup yet,"