wish // 5SOS

17

Charlie

"Hey,"

"You should be off partying,"

"I need a sit down," Maddox said, sitting beside me,"Besides, it is not as fun when you can't drink and everyone else can,"

"Is Gabi drinking?"

"A bit. I told her to. How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted and nauseous, but Calum is having fun so I don't wanna ruin it,"

"Luke and Sierra have a room here, would you like me to ask them if you can lay down for a bit?"

"It's okay,"

"I will go and ask. You wait here,"

I felt bad, but I would love a lie down. Everyone was dancing and shouting, and drinking, and my babies were getting pissed off.

"Come with me,"

Maddox held her hand out and helped me up, then led me outside and down towards a guest house, unlocking the door. She took me to a gorgeous bedroom, then helped me take my shoes off and made me lay down on the bed. Gently, she put a blanket over me, then stroked the hair out my face.

"They'll bring Calum to you. Thank you so much for coming today, I know it has only been a few days, but I have really enjoyed hanging out,"

"Thank you for having me,"

"Of course. I hope you feel better soon,"

"Thanks. You are gonna be a good mum,"

"I hope,"

Once she had gone, I shut my eyes and curled up in a blanket, gently rubbing my stomach. Now it was quiet, my ears were ringing, my feet were aching like mad, but the babies had calmed down so I managed to get some sleep. You couldn't even hear the party from here.

Calum came and woke me up when it was time to go by gently stroking my cheek, then he helped me off the bed and put my shoes back on, wrapping his blazer round my shoulders. I felt really disoriented, so he kept his arms round me and helped me out to the car, passing me a blanket.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit shit,"

"Do you maybe need some food?"

"I think. And sleep,"

"Eat this, and have a nap,"

"I love you so much," I said, "You care so much,"

"I do,"

"I feel terrible right now,"

"Oh honey, I am sorry if today was too much. We can stay home tomorrow,"

"It was a lot,"

All the tiredness and emotions seemed to catch up with me and I couldn't help but cry. They were such a beautiful family, and supported each other so much. Their speeches showed me how pure and genuine family love could be, and it was so obvious how proud Gabi and Maddox's parents were of them. Everyone loved them.

I didn't blame them. The couple were charming, successful, beautiful, and they would be the best mums in the world. They intentionally put so much effort in to becoming mums too, so everyone was all happy for them. I was happy for them too.

But I was so jealous of everyone. I only had this life for four months.

"Oh sweet, try and take some deep breaths,"

"That is always your solution,"

"It tends to help,"

"I don't think I fit in here,"

"What! You absolutely do,"

"I don't think so. I have nothing for anyone to be proud of, I look different, I am already arguing with Ally,"

"I am very proud of you, and I think you are beautiful, especially today!"

"How are you proud?"

"You did really well at your appointment, you have met all my friends, you have been open, and come to a wedding! All in a very short space of time which is why it is overwhelming,"

"I don't think any of that is something you are genuinely proud about,"

"I think this is a conversation for the morning,"

"I think I should just leave,"

"Now why would you do that, ay? I thought we were getting along!" he said calmly.

"I dunno. I haven't stayed anywhere this long before and I am freaking out because you are all a big happy family,"

"As long as you are under my roof, you are part of that family,"

I leant against the door and sniffled, trying to stop crying. Talking to so many people lately had been so intense, and after today I needed some time alone. Hopefully that would make me feel better.

"Look, I know this is not easy. I know you have met a lot of people, and had to make so many first impressions, but we can change the pace this week,"

"Moving around so much has really fucked with my head,"

"I cannot even begin to imagine, honey. I really can't, and I would love to talk to you more about that but I think we should sleep first,"

"I have never had a home or a person to call home apart from my nanny and she is dead. I am sick of feeling like I am floating around, watching everyone else get to have a family,"

He pulled the car over and turned the engine off, then turned to look at me, and gently brushed the hair from my face. Usually I didn't let him, for secret reasons, but today I did because I didn't have any energy left to stop him. He cupped my face, then sighed.

"You are so important to our family already. You know, you have got us forever,"

"I leave in four months,"

"You turn 18 next month. You can stay forever,"

"You really mean that?"

"I do,"

"You wanna be my dad or something?"

"I will be whatever you want to call me!"

"Maybe my uncle? Long lost uncle? That makes me feel better,"

"I would love to be your long lost uncle,"

The car was only lit up from street lights and I could see he had teary eyes, his thumb gently rubbing my cheek.

"I don't ever want you feeling like you don't belong anywhere ever again, because you definitely belong in our family,"

"You think?"

"I do. I think you have clicked with everyone, and I would love to have you stay. I think we enjoy each other's company! And I know it probably feels so weird because you are already so grown up, but we still have a lot of time to settle, and I am more grown up,"

"I don't want you to say all of this and regret it. I know I talk loads and I am annoying and cry a lot,"

"You are not annoying,"

"I annoy Ally,"

"No. You bicker. Ally only bickers with people she likes,"

"That doesn't make sense,"

"Ally never makes sense. No one ever makes sense," he laughed, drying my eyes, "Look. This is gonna sound so fucking crazy, but I really think we were brought together for a reason. I think we both need to learn things about ourselves, and I think we need each other's company to do so. I really think you were brought to me because the universe knew we were meant to be family,"

"People will think you are so vain calling your kid a C name,"

"No they won't,"

"You don't sound crazy," I said quietly, "I think I am just having a hard time adjusting to the fact that someone actually likes me,"