wish // 5SOS

43

Charlie

"Take it easy,"

"I can't get upstairs,"

"Alright. Go and sit on the sofa then, I will take your bags up,"

"I just wanna get in bed,"

"If you can't get upstairs, perhaps we can stay somewhere else. Mike has a downstairs room,"

"You would come too?"

"Of course,"

I nodded, slowly making my way to the sofa. Sitting down was awful- it sucked without my strong painkillers. They released me this evening, and had given me stupid weak painkillers. I felt awful. Leaving the babies alone made me feel terrible too.

I just felt awful. Emotional, in pain, sick, tired, and sort of homesick. I wasn't sure how I felt homesick considering this was the most home I had, but I did and it was gnawing at my stomach.

"Michael said we can stay, and they are just about to cook so we can eat there!"

"Okay,"

"Would you like a cuddle first?"

"Yeah,"

He sat next to me and I leant into him, closing my eyes. I couldn't help but start choking on my sobs, and he made sure to hold a pillow under my bump again. Everything hurt, including my heart.

"I bet Michael will know all the tricks to make you feel better," dad said quietly, "And tomorrow me and you can lay and watch tv all day,"

"I feel like shit,"

"I know. It is going to get better, I promise. We are all here for you if you need to talk. The babies are in good hands at hospital, and you are in good hands here with family,"

"I wanted to feel better once the babies were out. I don't,"

"It might take some time. I am always here for you, about anything good or bad. Always,"

I couldn't describe the hole in my chest. It hurt, and it was gaping, and heavy. I was scared I would never be happy again.

"I love you so, so much. You are doing so, so well. Feeling all these emotions is normal, and valid, and you have had some of the hardest few days which takes time to come back from. Me and you can take it slow,"

I wiped my eyes and hugged his arms, biting my trembling lip. I got so lucky. A home, one to actually stay in. A grown up who listened to me, and cared about me, and cooked such good food. No one had ever told me I was doing well until I met Calum.

"Why don't we head over? And you can sit with us and chat if you'd like, or go to bed, or sit with us and just listen in,"

"Yeah,"

"The last one?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay. I will let them know. Let me pack you a bag and then we can go,"

"Thank you,"

"No problem. It will be much easier,"

Patiently, I waited for him to pack, then we got back in the car and drove to Michael's house. When we walked in, it smelt really nice, then dad led me to the table and told them I just wanted to be quiet, before taking my bag to a room. Crystal gave me some water, and Michael gave me a hug which I appreciated. It definitely made me feel extra loved.

"If you want any more food then help yourself, and it is okay if you don't finish," Crystal said, putting a plate infront of me. Dad said next to me, so I picked up my fork and began eating. My appetite was still slow to come back, but I ate a bit more than I had been eating.