That Perfect Smile of Him

28

                              SIYA

I looked up from my feet and he stared confusedly at me.

"No... That's not like that. I mean..."

He stared up at my orbs, that pure innocence, confusion which I am sure will soon be filled with anger. But I have to fight for it.

"I want to start a business." I sighed seeing him sitting calm on his seat.

"Bas itna hi?"

I shook my head at him.

"In Bangalore with my frie... Collegemate." He frowned at me. I rested myself on the bike facing him.

"It's a big team, all ready with their plans. They are paid few bucks for assurance currently. They have been waiting, Arjun. Waiting for just me."

"Wait a minute." I looked at his face as he looked on thoughtfully towards the ground.

"Why now?" He asked sternlybturning his face towards me.

"Uhmm... What?" I frowned.

"I meant to say, abhi kyu? Jab sab kuch sahi chal raha hai. We are well settled in our life. No problems, nothing!" He explained hooking my fingers with his.

Identity, Arjun.

Which I craved from the start. And the dedication just increased after we attended the wedding. People didn't even adressed me, no one was there proud introducing me. I hated how people exagerrated about the normal job going peoples , when I could have done better than them.

I don't want Arjun to know about this, about how much of a attention seeker I am.

"I want to... You know... I can't explain. You will judge me." I looked around in frustration.

"Thike! Hum ghar par baat karenge. Okay?"

I nodded.

"Do not think I agreed." He warmed before settling on his seat and igniting the engine.

I prepared the sentences I got to say infront of him which harms nothing. Neither the relation we are so happy in nor my career!

He slumped on the sofa after we entered inside , resting his elbows on his knees while his palm covered his eyes. I developed the courage within me and settled at a one hand distance from him on the sofa.

"Explain from the start, Siya. What are you waiting for?"

"Should I bring you some water?" I asked hesitatingly.
He looked up at me.
"Do you really think I would care about the water now? You don't know my breath was stucked here when you started speaking." He pointed towards his throat.

"I am sorry." It came out involuntarily.
I continued as he rested his head between his palms.

"I had it from the start in my mind. To start something, of my own. I wanted a life where people feel proud at me. You know how it feels when someone looks up at you. You never get to hesitate... The power, the aura is reflected itself. That's the thing I wanted. Not from someone else, but my own, khud se kamaya hua."

"Then some days back, Ashwin, my college mate mailed me about his plan. You know I felt so good, someone finds me suitable to keep as his partner in the business. I thought so much about that, later agreeing. He got a small team already which is practically filled by our collegemates, some juniors. They all are assigned their work, which they are trying to learn more and more daily before initiating the final things. And now they need me there. It needs to start now, Arjun."

"What's it about? your plan?"

I felt amazed as he felt curious to ask atleast this.

"Event planning."

"That won't work."

"Arjun." I replied sternly.

"What Arjun? Let's go to sleep." He nonchalantly replied, holding his phone and going inside the room.

"What?" I yelled from behind.

"That's all you got to say." I breathed after he disappeared inside the room. Bringing myself a glass of water, I drank it to stop myself from exploding with the suffocation.
Sitting on the sofa, I rested my head on the armrest , trying my best to relax.
Soon my eyelashed dripped closed from the tiredness.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

I packed some biscuits and cheese bread in his tiffin hurriedly after I looked at the wall clock showing seven fifty. Running towards the kitchen rack, I took his bottle out filling it with water.

I kept the bottle out on the table near to which he stood checking his folders. I let the last bread turn brown kept on the pan before applying more cheese on it and keeping it in his tiffin. Coming out of the kitchen, I ram out till the gate searching for him.
He was there, sitting on his bike wearing his helmet and soon ignited the engine before driving it off.

Couldn't he wait?!

I sighed turning back. Dusting off the shelves, cleaning the chairs, covering few of the shelves with new newspapers, washing clothes, cleaning dishes, it was already one in the afternoon.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

"Woh geeli hai." I yelled seeing him wearing the same T-shirt, I washed today in afternoon.

"Utaar do use." I screamed irritatedly as he ignored me like I talked to the cupboard behind him.

"Toh kyu nai sukhayi. I wore it 3 days back." He taunted.

"I can't wash the clothes daily!" I shrugged.

He rolled his eyes at me and went out of our bedroom.

"Hadd hai!"

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

"Arjuuuun." I yelled out loud from the kitchen. I looked towards the door after a minute to look for him, my fury rose as I didn't see him coming.

Placing few rotis on a plate with the vegetable, I came out of the kitchen. I kept the plate on the dining table and kept the glass of water beside it.
Turning around I found Arjun coming out of the room his gaze focused on his mobile.

"Khana rakha hai." Saying that, I picked up my dupatta from the table, I came out of our house closing the door.

Ascending the stairs in hurry, I reached our landlady's house.

"Siya beta, aao aao." I entered inside to find Aunty sitting on the floor with a wooden rolling pin in her hand while Uncle was sitting beside her with a bowl of Mawa kept in his lap.

"Baitho!" She kept a small carpet infront of her for me to sit.

"We were just waiting for you." She made round puris for Gujiya while Uncle passed me the bowl of Mawa along with the Gujiya shaper.

"I was preparing the dinner so I got late."

Aunty talked with me while Uncle switched through the channels on the TV in background.

"Will you not make Gujiya at your home?" She asked.

"Nahi. Mujhe nahi aati. Maybe my mother-in-law is coming to visit us two days before holi so she would bring some for us." She giggled.

We spread all the Gujiya on a long cloth while talking about all the deserts she used to make when she was young and I was left fascinated about how much she used to work.

"Ok Aunty. I will be going now." She smiled seeing me till the gate.

Locking the doors, I turned around to see Arjun looking at his nails and bitting the skin below them. He looked up at me as I stopped. I rolled my eyes going towards the room.

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