Take Me By The Hand

Five. One.

"So are you, like... Gay?"

Josh's movements cease, his fingers wrapped around a toddler size green dress, and looks up at me like the question is a foreign concept to him. "Gay?"

Suddenly I feel like it was a stupid question in the first place, but I'm quite curious. I feel even stupider for not knowing the sexuality of one of my best friends. But I've known him since I was thirteen and I've never known him to be interested in anyone. So I shrug, shifting on the sofa which seems exceptionally uncomfortable right at this moment. The box of donated clothing set between us shifts with my motion. "Well are you? I thought you were gay because honestly like fifty percent of everyone at Belleville High is gay. But I've never seen you with a guy. Are you like... Half gay?"

Josh laughs, still looking puzzled and somewhat amused. "Half gay?"

I let out a short breath and frown, narrowing my eyes a bit. "Are you just going to repeat every question I ask?"

"Until you stop asking stupid questions, probably." Josh laughs again, shaking his head. He finishes folding the little dress, setting it into a box to the left. Then he turns on the sofa to face me fully, his blue eyes still gleaming with some small amount of humor. "If you're asking if I like dick, the answer is no. The only dick I like is your personality." The minute smile on his face shows me he's kidding, but I stick my tongue out.

"That didn't answer my question, though," I say when he goes back to sorting through the newest donations. "So you're not gay. You're straight?"

Josh glances at me sideways and shakes his head. "Hell no."

I throw my arms up in the air, nearly knocking over the box between us. "Then what the hell are you?!"

Josh makes eye contact again and slowly says, "A. Sex. U. Al."

"Asexual?" I feel my brow furrow. "Well what the hell is that?"

Instead of answering me, Josh holds up another dress, this one speckled with purple and pink and yellow flowers. "This is pretty, right? I would wear this if it was my size. Wouldn't you totally wear this is if was your size?"

I cock my head to one side, raising an eyebrow. "Probably not," I admit.

"But it's pretty, right?" Josh repeats.

"Yeah," I nod. "I think it's pretty."

"But even though it's pretty," Josh continues, looking down to fold the dress. "You don't want to wear it. Why not?"

"Because... I'm not really interested in wearing dresses."

Josh picks up another article of small clothing and begins folding. When he sets it into another box, he looks up at me, smiling. "People are pretty," He explains. "But just because I think people are pretty doesn't mean I'm interested in having sex with them."

I let his words sink in while he continues folding and sorting. "Oh..." is all I say, because that actually makes sense. Feeling just a little bit more understanding of Josh, we finish sorting the donations and he jumps up to find another box to start on, but when he sits back down I groan. "I don't know how you've been doing all this."

Josh shrugs and pulls the flaps of the box open. "I want to help," He says. "I like helping. And someone needs to get it done before next month."

Next month? Fuck, I don't even know what this month is. "What's next month?"

Josh looks up, frowning. He looks nothing less than apologetic. "August. Sweetie, next month is August."

"August..." I repeat. I find myself frowning, too, as realization hits me. "School starts in August. You and Mikey are leaving next month... Everyone is leaving next month." I feel my heart sink, my stomach feeling upset. The motion of the twins swimming about in whatever inside bodily fluids surround them is no longer calming, as it has been for the last week. It nauseates me even further right now.