Take Me By The Hand

Dumb

I focus on my feet, the way my black Converse, worn and beginning to tear, scuff against the pale gray tiled floor. The squeaking is barely audible over the sound of the conversations that swirl around me, other students lining both sides of the hallway and scurrying along in front of me. My back burns and I can't shake the feeling that someone is watching me.

I adjust the straps of my backpack and continue on down the hall. A shoulder bumps into mine and I glance up, my eyes immediately meeting the bright blue of Josh's. He leans in close, falling into step with me easily, and speaking in a low voice. "Dude, is it just me or is everyone watching you?"

I fucking knew it.

I look up to see what he's talking about, though I can already sense their eyes. What I don't expect is just how many people are watching me. Some make it blatantly obvious, huddled in groups and pointing fingers in my direction, while others at least try to be inconspicuous and only glance at me over their shoulders.

"And are you wearing pajama pants?" Josh steps back a bit and quirks an eyebrow at me. "Running late?"

"Yeah..." I mutter, almost silently. Of course, it was partly true. I was indeed running late to school this morning, but more due to the fact that my jeans felt suspiciously tight this morning and my only choice on such short notice was to throw on the first elastic-waistband pants I could find. "Anyway, back to them," I gesture lazily to the people that seem to surround me, closing in and becoming more suffocating with each step I take. "Why the hell are they watching me?"

I meet the gaze of a girl across the narrow hallway, her dark eyes widening before she grins and snickers something to her friend. I immediately drop my eyes and focus back on my shoes, picking up my pace.

Josh shrugs, not seeming interested. "Maybe they heard you and Zacky broke up," He suggests. "Remember the bet rumor? You think people might have had actual bets riding on it?"

I cringe, shaking my head and ignoring the dull ache in my chest. "I don't even want to think about that."

Josh drops the subject, bumping my shoulder with his once more and motioning with his head toward the open Biology door as we pass before it, silently letting me know this is his stop. "I'll see you at lunch?"

I swallow hard and force a nod. "Yeah." I don't slow down on my course to the Geometry room, instead willing my feet to move faster. I can hear conversations still continuing and I can't shake the feeling that they're all centered around me.

•••

When my first two exams are finished and the bell finally rings, signalling me it's time for lunch, I feel nothing but pure relief. My bladder is practically screaming at me for having to hold it for so long and my stomach is grumbling unhappily with the lack of food. I absently wonder if the grumbling is the babies' way of demanding to be fed. They're only eleven weeks old and they're starting to converse with me.

I make my way down the crowded hall, but before I even have the chance to make it all the way to the lunchroom, I feel hands grab me from either side and I'm directed toward the bathroom. My first response is obviously panic because who the hell is dragging me toward the restroom!? Admittedly, I do have to pee, but I'd like to do that on my own accord, not with someone else's help. But when I glance up and see Gerard and Mikey on either side of me, I relax a little. Mikey's face is lacking all expression, which isn't that abnormal. What incites a little more panic is the way Gerard's face is deliberately stony-- His lips are pressed into a thin line, his jaw set, and his eyes hard as he stares straight ahead.

They release me instantly when we're safely inside the bathroom and I turn to face them curiously. Mikey ignores me, focusing his attention on checking each stall in turn to guarantee we're alone, while Gerard has resorted to chewing nervously on his bottom lip and avoiding my gaze.