Take Me By The Hand

E.L.E.V.E.N

When I finally pull myself away from cuddle time with a toilet and manage to stand up without falling over again, I stagger toward the sink once more. I turn on the cold water and cup my hands under the stream, bringing it up and letting it cover my face. I want to stay there forever, my mouth and nose submerged in the makeshift bowl. Not just because the cool water makes my head clear a little, but because of the peacefulness that washes over me. I don't want to have to think about what Zacky may or may not be doing behind my back. I don't want to deal with rumors and Gerard-- What the hell did he care, anyway? It's not like we were exactly friends. Sure, he was nice, but he was more of a simple acquaintance. Why would he care if Zacky was using me? Maybe he was just a genuinely nice person. Maybe it was just in his nature to be concerned. I didn't know and, at this moment, I didn't really care.

I only pull my face out of the water, letting it drain from my hands and back into the sink, when I feel my lungs stinging from lack of use. I cough once, a few drops of the water spewing onto the mirror, but avoid the vanity and grab a crisp brown towel instead. Drying my face off, I feel the nausea again. I stand there for a moment, halfway turned back to the toilet, before it fades away and I decide I should probably leave.

I spend the rest of the day, only two more periods, in the nurses office. Nurse Zimmerman glances up as I come in, raising an eyebrow. I probably look like shit, face pale and hair disheveled. She makes a gesture toward the mud colored cot and I lay down as she silently stands up and searches the various cabinets for a thermometer. Sticking it under my tongue, she stands back, one hand fisted on her hip, watching me. When the small object finally beeps, she pulls it out and clicks her tongue.

"Normal," She informs me. "But you don't look so well." She narrows her eyes in appraisal before saying, "Should I call your mother?"

Miss Zimmerman knows better than anyone of my poor health. Not a week went by that I didn't come into her office and ask for something, whether it was aspirin or a trip to the emergency room. She would always roll her eyes in disapproval, but I knew that she secretly liked me, even if she pretended to be annoyed when I came to her.

I shake my head, focusing back on her question. "No, can I just stay here until school's out?"

She nods and makes her way back to the desk positioned in the corner of the small room. I allow my eyes to close, my stomach starting to settle and my mind going, thankfully, blank as unconsciousness overtakes me. 

I wake to someone poking my cheek. I groan, swatting at whoever's hand was all up in my personal space without opening my eyes.

"Come on, Frank," Miss Zimmerman's voice says in exaggerated exasperation. "The last bell just rang."

I sit up groggily at her words, squinting against the bright light of the white room. I mutter something incoherent and glance at the clock, seeing that she was right; I was free to go home. I grab my backpack off the floor beside me and make my move for the door, waving sleepily once and mumble a "Thanks."

When I get to the main hallway, I realize most of the students are clearing out, making it easy to spot Zacky waiting near my locker. He bites his lip silently, raising one hand to rub it across the back of his neck. I have to avert my eyes, telling myself that I'm supposed to be pissed at him, not checking him out. I open my locker without a word and he turns to me. "You weren't in your last period." Not a question. He had been waiting for me. I feel a small amount of satisfaction imagining that, but just nod in agreement. "Where were you?" He wonders.

"Nurses office." I state, focusing my attention on deciding what books I need to take home.

"Why?" He asks, this time concern leaking into his voice, which actually kind of surprises me. "Are you okay?"