Take Me By The Hand

37

I press the pencil harder into the paper, flinching when the lead snaps off and rolls across the desk before dropping to the floor. I push on the eraser again, forcing more granite from the tip of the pencil only to have it break off as well. Staring down at the broken piece sitting just above question forty-six, I flick it away and watch as it disappears across the room. As I grip the mechanical pencil tighter in my hand, I feel the cheap plastic begin to protest between my fingers.

I can hear them. They don't think I can, their voices somewhat muffled by the small distance between our desks, but I know they're talking about me. Since the discovery during lunch today that probably everyone in the entire school knows about my pregnancy, I've started to think they're all speculating about me behind my back. So when I hear two female voice gossiping behind me when I'm attempting to finish my Geometry exam, it's no surprise that my paranoia kicks in.

One of the girls giggles and I drop my pencil to the desk, angrily spinning in my chair and settling them with a hard glare. "Do you mind?" I demand. "You're being kind of annoying. Could you shut the hell up?"

The girl who was laughing frowns, flipping some light brown hair from in front of her eyes and shifting in her desk. Her perfectly drawn eyebrows come together in the middle and she narrows her eyes at me, opening her mouth to speak before another voice cuts her off.

"Frank?" I look up, meeting the curious gaze of my math teacher, one eyebrow raised as she appraises me. "Is there a problem?"

"They're talking," I sigh. I feel like a total nerd ratting them out-- normally it wouldn't bother me that people were whispering when I was trying to take a test. Normally though, they wouldn't be talking about me or what's in my stomach.

The teacher nods and looks behind me to the girls. "Quiet until everyone is finished."

The pair behind me mumble a soft "yes ma'am" and I turn my full attention back to the question at hand, reading it through again and trying to keep my lead from breaking off for a third time.

When the last bell finally resonates in the quiet room, I take my time putting everything back into my bag before turning my test in, waiting until most of the students have shuffled out of the room. Sliding my test packet onto the desk, I keep my head down and follow the herds into the hallway. I'm only barely through the door when a hand lands on my shoulder and I jump, looking up and meeting Matt's eyes. I immediately relax and smile. "Hey."

"What's up?" It's a simple question, but I can hear the real concern behind the words as he follows me through the hall, toward my locker.

I sigh, shrugging and trying to avoid eye contact with everyone we pass at all costs. "They're all acting like I'm a fucking specimen under a microscope," I admit, my voice so low I'm not completely sure he can hear me. "They're all just watching me, but nobody will say anything." I look up at Matt when we reach my locker, pulling it open and taking my History textbook out. "Do you know how everyone found out yet?"

Matt shakes his head, leaning against the row of lockers next to me. "Not yet. Josh tried asking a few people, but nobody will tell him. They just keep asking if it's real or not."

"And what did he tell them?" I zip my backpack shut and toss it over my shoulder.

Matt pushes off from the wall, following me further down the hall. "Knowing Josh?" He scoffs. "He probably called them a peasant, rolled his eyes, and refused to answer."

When we reach the black Malibu, Gerard and Mikey already waiting inside for me, I wave at Matt, who ventures off across the lot to meet Andrew. Inside the car, I claim the space next to Gerard and settle back into the comfortable fabric of the seat. The brother's are silent for most of the ride, thankfully leaving me time to my own thoughts. I'm quietly glad that Gerard doesn't mention what happened in the bathroom earlier, leaving Mikey clueless to the fact that he kissed me. It meant absolutely nothing-- He did it because he thought it would help my panic attack, and it did. There was nothing more to it-- but I knew Mikey wouldn't let me live it down if he knew.