Take Me By The Hand

Chapter 21!!!

"Are you sure you're okay?" Zacky probes. He's leading me down the abandoned school hallways, away from Mikey and the computer lab, but the thoughts that harass my mind can't be left behind so easily.

"Hmm?" I look up at him and realize I've been biting my thumb nail for the past two minutes straight. I cram my hand into the pocket of my jacket and force a sad excuse for a smile, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Zacky sighs and looks away, keeping his eyes forward. "Did Josh do something to piss you off?"

I narrow my eyes in confusion. "No. Why would you say that?"

"Because you seemed fine until lunch." Zacky shrugs, aiming for nonchalance but coming out stiff. "And then you avoided me the rest of the day. And then I find you holed up in the tech lab, searching something you obviously didn't want me to see." Involuntarily, my body tenses-- How did he know? Zacky rolls his eyes. "I saw Mikey exit out of the page as soon as I walked in. What were you looking at?" I don't answer. I want to; I don't want Zacky to think I'm lying to him. But I'm not sure of anything right now. I just found out that I could have testicular cancer. As much as I want to trust Zacky and share this newfound information with him, I can't bring myself to do it just yet. When I know for sure, I will tell him. But telling him my theories would mean telling him that my friends convinced me to take a pregnancy test-- The friends that Zacky already dislikes. No. Keeping this to myself is what's best for now. "Are you and Mikey hiding something from me?"

Yes.

"No." Dammit. My voice sounds unsure and Zacky casts me a sideways glance. I sigh and bite down on my lip. This time, it's my turn to look away. I shrug and think over my words before daring to speak aloud. "It's seriously nothing, Zacky. It's just... Mikey's helping me with some personal stuff..." I let my words trail off, not really what else to say that wouldn't be a bold faced lie.

We've reached his bike by now, and he fumbles with the helmet in his hands, watching me with an unreadable expression. I shift under the gaze and force myself to retain eye contact. Zacky's jaw clenches and then loosens again. "And you can't tell me what this personal stuff is...?"

I purse my lips and shake my head ever so slightly. "Not yet," I admit.

Apparently Zacky isn't happy with this answer, as he snorts and rolls his eyes, thrusting the helmet into my hands and climbing onto the bike without another word. He revs up the motorcycle as I mentally punch myself for being such an idiot-- I should just tell him, but I can't bring myself to form those seemingly simple words, so I settle with sliding the helmet on and climbing onto the back.

The ride seems longer than usual, my brain racked with pressing thoughts of what I'm going to do. I am about to take a thousand pregnancy tests to determine if I in fact have cancer. Well then. Never thought I would say that, even if it's to myself. When the motorcycle finally stops in front of my house, I climb off. I don't expect Zacky to turn the key in the ignition, the engine stopping as he pulls his own helmet off.

"I don't wanna fight," He says. His fingers tap against the black material of the head gear, his hazel eyes searching mine.

I feel a smile tug up the corners of my lips. "Me either. I hate fighting."

Zacky smirks and his hand fists in the front of my shirt, tugging me closer so he can capture my lips in a soft kiss. It's just a peck at first, but he keeps me there and I feel his tongue slide against my lower lip. I chuckle and pull away, shaking my head. "I gotta go," I say. "I told Mikey I would meet him."

Zacky looks disappointed and pulls me back in. After another short kiss, he mumbles, "Come on. Let's just hang out here."

I pull away again. "I really can't." His jaw clenches and I feel a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, babe, but I seriously have something to do."