Take Me By The Hand

F/O/R/T/Y/T/W/O

I stand awkwardly in the hall, clutching a pillow to my chest. I mostly stole it from Mikey out of spite, not that I’ll actually need it if I ever get the courage to knock. But staring down the closed bedroom door is making my stomach twist for some reason. After a few long minutes, I sigh and lift one fisted hand to gently rap on the door. It swings open only a second later.

It’s just past midnight and I hope I haven’t woken him up. I should have just claimed the couch. With the help of a single desk light on Gerard’s desk, I see only outlines of his face. He doesn’t look like he was sleeping. Still, I frown, biting down on my lip. “Ray passed out on the bed with Mikey,” I admit in a soft voice. “Can I…” I trail off, feeling kind of awkward again for asking this. “Can I sleep in here?”

A small smile graces Gerard’s lips and he nods, moving to allow me into the room. I drop the pillow onto the tangled sheets, noting the sketchbook on Gerard’s desk. It’s open again to the page with me. This time, though, the drawing is more detailed, working it’s way into a finished piece. And this time, I’m not alone on the bed. Just behind me, another figure has been added. There’s not much detail on him, though it’s obvious it’s a boy. He’s simply watching the back of my head with a content smile, a single hand outstretched as if to grab my back, but his fingers are just a bit too far away.

Confused, I turn back to Gerard. He’s watching me with an unreadable expression already, fidgeting on his feet. “Who is that?” I wonder.

“No one,” He mutters.

I let out a soft chuckle and glance back at the drawing, just as Gerard steps forward to close it. “Come on, it’s obviously someone.” I nudge Gerard’s shoulder and smile, asking again. “Who is it?”

Gerard looks up at me, running his tongue along his lower lip and offering a noncommittal shrug. “Nobody,” He replies. When I keep my gaze steady on his, Gerard sighs and averts his own eyes, suddenly very interested on the carpet. “It was me,” He admits. “It was stupid, I just wanted to draw more, so I added myself.” He tosses the sketchbook onto the desk and shrugs again.

I don’t realize at first that I’m smiling, but I can’t help it. Knowing that Gerard drew himself into the picture with me makes my chest flutter. I bite down on my lip and clear my throat. “Umm… I’m gonna go to bed. You can stay up and draw if you want.”

Gerard only meets my eyes for a second before nodding. “Yeah. If the light doesn’t bother you?”

I shake my head and nudge him again, unsure of what else to do. “Night, Gee.”

I curl up on my side on the mattress, burying myself under a cocoon of blankets. It’s silent for a few minutes and I’m just drifting into unconsciousness when the light flicks off and the bed shifts. Gerard lifts the covers and suddenly I feel his body heat around me. In a half-asleep haze, I find myself turning over to face him, my fingers brushing against the hem of his shirt and moving closer. I feel the faint sensation of a few fingers brushing through my hair and Gerard whispers, “Night, Frankie,” but I’m already fast asleep by then.

 

When I first wake up, I don’t remember where I am. I can’t seem to comprehend the heat of another body next to me, the feeling of an arm draped across my waist, a hand resting on my stomach. It takes a long moment to remember that I’m not in Mikey’s bed, but Gerard’s. And only a second after that, I realize it must be Gerard’s body curled around mine. His face is nuzzled into neck, even breaths sending chills down my spine. I can’t describe the warm feeling that knots in my stomach, unraveling and streaming like pulled yarn all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes, though I know it has nothing to do with the temperature.