Take Me By The Hand

Capitolo Cinquantacinque

The room is silent. There's so much that needs to be said, but no one knows where to begin, how to start. I meet Gerard's gaze from across the room and he opens his mouth, but shuts it after a second without saying anything. To my left, Mikey sighs softly. Josh, on my right, fidgets with the hem of his dress; I realize he's wearing the floral one I refused a couple weeks ago.

Bert, strewn across the floor on his back near Gerard, is finally the one who breaks the silence. He fiddles with the camera Josh gave him, turning it on to begin his filming. "We could take them out early," He suggests. "C-sections are usually scheduled for before the due date anyway, right?"

Ray nods, but his voice is uncertain. "Yeah."

"But--" Bob interjects. "Since it's an unusual pregnancy, we can't be sure they're actually fully developed unless we perform an invasive test. And that of course runs the risk of infection."

"If we take them out too early, they'd be premature and possibly underdeveloped," Ray states simply. He's frowning, looking unhappy as he exchanges a glance with Bob. "I think our best bet for the babies is to wait until they're ready to come out, which means waiting until Frank's water breaks."

"If we wait until the water breaks," Bob says, shaking his head. "We run a higher risk of injury on Frank's part. Even normal c-sections after that point are time sensitive. If we don't work fast enough, Frank will die."

"And if we take them out too early, the babies might die." I look down at my hands, ignoring the way everyone's eyes turn to me. I try to keep my breathing even. "We wait until my water breaks. It's the safer choice for the kids."

"But not for you." I look up at the sound of Gerard's voice. He's glaring at the floor, his jaw clenched. "If you wait, it could literally kill you."

"And if I take them out early, it could kill them." I frown at him, but he's still looking down. "I don't want to lose them, Gerard."

Gerard's head snaps up then and his eyes meet mine. His are wet. "Yeah, well I don't want to lose you." He stands up and leaves the room without another word. Behind me, I hear the apartment door slam shut.

Pushing off the couch, I wave a dismissive hand at Mikey who looks like he wants to follow. "Just give us a minute," I tell him, and follow Gerard out of the apartment.

In the hallway outside, Gerard is slumped against the opposite wall. His head is buried in his hands and his breathing is uneven. Without a word, I sit down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Gerard looks up a moment later, his eyes red and tear stained. He doesn't speak, but slides a hand around to cup the back of my head and pulls me closer. Our lips slot together perfectly, like they were always meant to be there, and I find myself instantly lost in the sensation of kissing him. It's mesmerizing and overwhelming, breathing in the scent of him mixed with the heady feeling of his tongue parting my lips, rubbing against my own. It's showing everything that he doesn't want to say. He's scared. And suddenly the kiss isn't just sweet and reassuring anymore, it's heated and passionate. Urgent. The hand that isn't twisting in my hair settles on my hip, slipping beneath my shirt. Blunt fingernails dig into my side, dragging down and sending a shiver of anticipation through me.

"Gee," I gasp when his mouth disappears from mine, finally allowing me to suck in a full breath. But his kisses only trail down my jaw, sucking on my neck, while his hand slips beneath the waistline of my pants, sliding down to fit perfectly around the curve of my ass. Gerard's hand flexes, tightening and squeezing and then slowly parts the cheeks and I bury my face in his shoulder when I feel a single dry finger press against the hole. Not intruding, just adding some pressure as he traces the rim. He's still sucking on my neck, where I'm sure a lovely array of bruises are forming, and I feel hot all over.