Take Me By The Hand

nine. Nine. NINE!

I feel eyes boring into my back and try to restrain myself from turning around and scanning the room for whoever was watching me. But I had a feeling it was more than just one someone. So I keep my head down, my fork poking absently at the salad on the tray in front of me. The voices buzz through the crowded cafeteria and I have nagging feeling that they're all talking about me. Am I just being conceited? Probably. But the feeling is still there...

Finally, I sigh, looking up at Mikey from across the table. "Why does it feel like everyone's watching me?" I demand.

Mikey's eyes scan the space behind me, my back to the majority of the cafeteria. He swallows a bite of his mystery meat-- mystery meat? Couldn't they at least tell us what the lumpy deformed mass of grossness they fed us was? And people honestly wonder why I refuse to eat meat... Come on. Do they even know what the hell they're eating? I think not.-- before looking back to the table and laughing. "Because they are watching you."

I become self-conscious all of a sudden and my body tenses up. I try to see from the corner of my eye, but only succeed in seeing the few people who share the table with Mikey and I. Matt, Josh, and Andrew. And I knew all of them better than to assume they watch me creepily and whisper about me behind my back.

Matt Sanders. He's been my friend the longest, aside from Mikey. I met him in seventh grade when he first moved to Belleville from some bumfuck town in Kentucky. I remember first seeing him, sitting in my seat when I came into class the first day. I had walked right up to him and said, "Yo. Bitch-tits. That's my seat." Matt had stood up, called me a cunt, and then stepped on my foot. I saw it as a sign of affection from the new kid and we became friends. He doesn't talk much, just sits back and observes. Mikey and I started calling him Matt Shadows because he was always just kind of there, not saying anything. A lot of people found it creepy, the way he didn't talk or move, just stared into space, lost in his own thoughts, but I loved that he was always so chill.

Josh Ramsay. The expressive kid that I met in detention my eighth grade year. He was always drawing or writing something, and he starred in just about every play the school or any surrounding community center put on. The teacher had stepped out of the room, claiming to be going to the restroom, but we all knew she was dying for a cigarette and would smoke half a pack before coming back in. There were only three of us and one kid had fallen asleep, in danger of falling out of the chair in the back of the room, so I turned to Josh instead. I asked him why he was in detention and he said, "I pierced my tongue with a safety pin in the middle of art class." When he spoke, I caught sight of the small metal attachment that glimmered and seemed almost mesmerizing to watch. "Nobody would have cared, except it started bleeding and got all over my final project." To this day, though, he still has the piercing.

Andrew Volpe. I'm not really sure how I became friends with Andrew. One day, last year, he randomly appeared at our lunch table and I just kind of accepted it. I'm pretty sure Matt asked him to sit with us, which is kind of weird since Matt doesn't talk to anyone outside of our little group. And Andrew is so different from Matt. Andrew talks to everyone. He's a chipper little spit-fuck, constantly babbling on happily about random things. He's a nerd, I'll admit, but in an adorable kind of way. Normally, he'll just talk to Matt, even if it seems like Matt isn't listening. But I think Matt likes him. Hell, it's impossible to not like the kid, even if he is a tad bit overwhelming at times. 

It's an odd group we have here, but I don't mind. We all seem so different and so similar at the same time. And, as of right now, they're the only people who aren't gawking at me like I've just grown an extra arm.

At that moment, Josh slides over on the bench seat, coming so close his shoulder bumps mine. On the other side of the table, Matt and Andrew slide toward us as well. "So," Josh says. He's grinning from ear to ear and I groan internally. "Is it true about you and Zacky?"