Chapter 41

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*Emilia's POV*

I woke up around 11am and my eyes were aching.
I got a strange feeling in my stomach, like it was churning.
I frantically ran to the bathroom, where i was instantly sick in the toilet. Why was this happening to me?

At the worst time possible, i heard my phone text alert go off.
I trudged back to my bedroom, and picked up my phone. It was Autumn.

A: hey Mills, is it okay if me and Caspar came around today? I need to see you x

I really didn't want them to see me this way. But i guess Autumn had seen me at my worst times; so it was nothing new.

E: of course x

I stayed in bed for a while. And i thought about actually making an effort today, but i just couldn't be bothered. I had no effort anymore.

'Emilia darling, are you getting up today?' My mum asked, opening my bedroom door so i quickly hid my face under my quilts.

'No mum- i-i think I'm coming down with a cold or something..' I said, making up a lie.

'Oh okay honey, you rest now.' She said, turning to go out of the room.

'But some friends are just coming to see me' i smiled, although she couldn't see it.

She walked out of the room, rolling her eyes with a smile.

*

Autumn and Caspar had arrived at mine and my mum had sent them upstairs to me, and as they entered my room they carried a bowl of soup.

'Hi beautiful' Caspar walked over to me, kissing my forehead.

'Hey' i said, pulling his neck down so his kiss would reach my lips.

As they did my lips Tingled, like they did when we first kissed. I loved how he could still make me feel the same way. How he made me feel as special.

'Hey Mills' Autumn said, whilst plonking her self down on the edge of the bed.

'Hey' i smiled in return.

Caspar handed me the soup; i figured my mum had sent up with him.
I looked at it, and just the thought of eating it made me feel sick.

'Don't worry, you don't have to eat it all' Autumn said, obviously seeing the way i looked at the food.

I looked up from my soup, to look at Autumn. She had a sympathetic look on her face.

I looked over at Caspar, who had a guilty look over clouding his face..

Had he told Autumn?

I didn't feel angry.. I felt upset. I basically wanted it to stay between me and Caspar, but he told her? I know Autumn is my best friend, but i didn't want her to get upset about this- i didn't even want Caspar to but he already figured it out.

*Caspar's POV*

'Casp.. You told her?' Emilia asked me, furrowing her eyebrows together sadly.

'It was for the right reasons' i said, defending myself.

'You basically promised me it would stay between us! How could you break that promise?' She asked, letting a tear escape her eye.

'Mills, you don't get it. I may have broken a promise, but i could have saved a life. Your life, in fact. I couldn't do it alone-' i spoke in a hushed tone.

'Mills, you've got to know we're all here for you. I will help you along the way.. We can start with a spoonful of this soup if you like?' Autumn said.

'No! That's not the point. I didn't want anybody to know. I-i didn't want you both to find out-' she cried; standing up.

I walked over to her and helped her back onto the bed, calming her slightly.
I tucked her in under the quilts and put her favourite teddy next to her. A small laugh came from her lips, and she used her hand to wipe away her tears.

'Yeah.. I see where you're coming from Casp. I'm sorry i lashed out.. I just really hate feeling like this- i hate it' Emilia sighed.

'And i'm willing to try some soup for you Aut' she added on.

Autumn gave her a quizzing look- to see if she was sure.
Emilia replied with a gentle nod, and Autumn passed her the bowl of soup.

Emilia propped herself up with the pillow, and grabbed the spoon in the soup.

She looked at it for a while, and mixed it around with the spoon. She looked disgusted at it, but finally, she scooped up some soup.

*Emilia's POV*

I took the spoonful of soup. I swilled it around in my mouth for a while; getting used to the texture.

Eventually, i swallowed it. It felt like the biggest achievement in a long while.. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever possibly done.

But i did it.

'I can't eat anymore. I'm full' i said, realising how small it was; but how big it was eating nothing.

'That's fine! You did so well! Just try to keep it in you, yeah?' Autumn smiled.

'Yeah i will, hopefully.' I smiled in return.

'You do realise you will have to go to the doctors some time soon?' She asked me.

'Yeah, don't worry. I won't forget it' i laughed quietly.

I looked over at Caspar who was smiling over at me.

He walked over to me and hugged me, wrapping his arms around my back.

He whispered in my ear; something that gave me the most motivation, and the most happiness that I've had in a while.

'I am so proud of you'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ficmas day 23

Good morningg!
So it's not only Christmas Eve-Eve today.. Its Christmas Eve tomorrow.. 2 days until Christmas!

I honesty can't believe it, and how quick 24daysofzoella has gone :(
I don't want it to end!

Anyways, to keep you updated, i opened my friends Xmas present. She got me the sequel book to 'if i stay' and some lindt chocolate. I love it soooooo much & you're reading this right now so thanks- love you :)

I hope you have a great day x

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