The Angel Taking Care of His Hunter [Destiel]

Giving Up

Third Person's P.O.V.

  Castiel thought it would make him better. That he'd be good as he was before.

  He was very wrong.

  He should've left him as the heartless person he was. What he is now, is much worse.

  He should've thought of the consequences before he made him see and feel all those things. He wasn't thinking though, and neither was Sam when he said to give him his memories back. They just wanted Dean back.

   Which, now they do, they wish Castiel hadn't done what he did. They've should've know how broken he'd be.

   They should've known.
 
 
  
   Dean's been distant.

   He's been drinking when neither Sam nor Castiel are around. He struggles to find the liquor since he hasn't been in the bunker for a while, and his sight is still gone. When he does find alcohol, though, he drinks every last drop.

   Drowning in guilt and sorrow.

   Hating himself for what he did. Yes, in a way he was being controlled, but it was still him. Just filled with hatred and rage that was built up inside him. Taking it out on people that didn't deserve it.

   He barely eats and almost never leaves his room. Castiel will try to talk to him, but he'll just sit there. Remembering everything he did to innocent people.
   
  
                                   - - - - - -
 
   Remembering the screams and pleads as he cut through their skin. Their warm blood making its way on him, feeling the and hearing the blood drip.

   Oh, and the tearing. He'd tear through all the flesh and bones without a care.

   No one in the history of torture's been tortured like the torture they've been tortured with. [I just had to 😂]

    He dug into their eyes, carved them out, making them blind. Just like him.

    If he couldn't see anything, why should they? They didn't need sight to know what he was doing to them. They just need to feel everything. They just needed to vocalize the sounds of agony.

   He was loving the cries he heard. Loving that they were suffering more than he was. Loving that whoever was before him, couldn't even make sounds when the torture was too much. That's even better than hearing the screams in his opinion.

   How'd he'd twist and break bones and enjoyed every second.

   He was like a demon.

   Because one was possessing him.

   At first he'd plead like the victim, to stop. He didn't like the blood, scream, pleads and torture.

    Eventually, just like everything else, he gave into it. Enjoyed it, and eventually did it himself. It was all him in the end.

                                   - - - - - -
 
 
   Sam will try and get him to go out of the bunker, but Dean never will. He just wants to be alone all the time.

    To make matters worse than they already are, he's been getting sick.

    Just like before with the headaches and the regurgitating of blood. It's much worse now though.

   He's in the bathroom more often, just dry heaving. He hasn't eaten anything, so he doesn't have anything to vomit.

    He gets hungry, but never eats. He believes he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anything, but the suffering.

    He's ready to die. He wants to die. He's tired and just wants out after all these years. He's wanted out before, but just kept getting sucked back into the "family business".

    This time though, when he's gone, it's for good.
 
 
                              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

                     "Dean, please eat something. You're starving yourself." Castiel kneels down besides his broken boyfriend.

    He's sitting against the bathroom wall near the toilet.

                     "No." Dean says weakly, shaking his head. "It'd be no use anyways. I'd just throw it all up."

   Castiel sighs and sits besides him.

                     "I know you're feeling guilty about everything you've done." Castiel speaks, "You have reason to be, and you have for a long time. You should forgive yourself, Dean. In a way you were being controlled and-"

                     "Yeah, 'In a way', but I knew what I was doing! I knew how many I was hurting people." Dean says.

                     "You..." He sighs, "Try to forgive yourself, they made you kill. They tortured you until you did, you didn't have a choice."

                     "I don't think I can.." Dean voice cracks towards the end.
                    
                     "At least come out your room." Castiel says, "Go to the library."

    Dean doesn't say or do anything.

    After a while, Castiel kisses his temple and stands. He walks out the bathroom after taking a glance back at Dean.

   He walks out his room, closing the door and leaving Dean alone again.

   Once Dean hears the door close, he waits until his footsteps can't be heard anymore. He stumbles up from the ground and makes his way out of the bathroom.

    He throws himself onto his bed and lies there until he falls asleep.