That one night (Destiel-highschool)

Chapter #21

Part 61

Seeing Cas was hard, he had to keep reminding himself that staring is weird. But he hadn't expected to look so hot and relaxed. He looked so calm after that shower, and those sweatpants looked good on him. But as soon as he saw Dean that changed. He saw all those muscles tense up and Dean felt guilty. Cas pushed by them and went into the room, Dean just followed Gabe and Sam into Gabe's room. After a few minutes he had to go to the bathroom and there it was. Cas was sitting on the ground with a pile of bloody toilet paper on his left forearm. He saw the bloody razor blade lying a few feet from Cas and dean put 2 and 2 together. No, this couldn't be happening. Why would Cas hurt his own beautiful body? What can you possibly hate about yourself when you're perfect? Cas looked at him with wide blue eyes. They weren't the same as he had seen last week, they were tired, dull and full of hurt. He hadn't noticed the whole week because he avoided looking at the blue eyes, he couldn't take it. "Dean." The tired boy spoke with a tired voice. Dean soon closed the door and made sure to lock it. He ran towards Cas and he saw a first aid kid lying next to sink. He grabbed it and took out everything, looking for bandages. They didn't say anything, Cas just let Dean do what he needed to do. He pulled off the toilet paper and threw it away in the waste basket. His mouth went open with shock when he saw what Cas had done to himself. How could he do this? "Cas." He said, his voice breaking and a single tear escaping his eye. He looked at Cas and Cas looked back, again not with his normal big bright eyes. Again just tired, he didn't even care that Dean was there. "Please." Cas said. "Don't tell." Dean nodded, he continued. Ignoring the pain in his heart he had because of how tired Cas sounded. Just tired and broken. Did Dean break him?

Part 62

He stood up and grabbed a towel and held it under water. He let the water drip on the floor and sat down next to Cas again. They didn't say anything and Dean was worried. "Cas you need to keep your eyes open." He knew Cas wouldn't die, because the cut wasn't that deep and he hadn't lost nearly enough blood. But he saw how tired Cas's body is and he wondered if he slept at all this week. He grabbed Cas's arm gently and pressed the towel against the wound. He felt Cas trying to pull his arm away but Dean didn't let him. "I know it hurts. But I need to clean it." Cas relaxed a little and let Dean do what he needed again. "I'm sorry" He grumbled. Dean didn't reply, he just kept cleaning the wound. Once the bleeding had stopped and the towel was bloody, Dena picked up the gauze and put it on the wound, he rolled the bandage around it and closed it with some sticky bandage. After Cas looked more awake Dean dared to ask what had been bothering since he walked through the door. "Why?" Dean asked, looking at his hands. Voice weak and barely hearable. He looked at Cas and he saw Cas was staring back. "Why would you do this to yourself?" Cas looked away and Dean figured it he was embarrassed. "I can't tell you." He said. Still looking away. "Cas. You have to tell me. I won't tell anyone but I have to know that you won't do it again." Dean said, voice steady but still soft and barely hearable. "You'll hate me" Cas said. Dean was shocked by his words. What could be so bad, Dean would hate him? "I will never hate you. Never" Cas turned to look at him. "I..." He said, eyes still on his lap. His voice weak. And it broke Dean's heart every time he heard it. It sounded so broken. Cas finally looked at him. Eyes locking with Dean's. They had looked at each other before but never like this. It was like Cas could look into his soul and Dean could look into his. "I..." He began. "I, uhm... I like you. Like the way... Like i'm falling in love with you. "

Part 63

Dean's mouth fell open for what felt like the hundredth time this day. "Cas, who cares that you're gay? I'm gay and so is Gabe." Cas sighed and a few tears escaped his eyes. "I knew you were going to hate m-" Dean interrupted. "I don't hate you." Cas sighed again and he couldn't look at Dean. "I don't want to be gay." Dean looked him with confusion. "I want a wife and my own kids. And I don't want to be bullied or judged. I had it all figured out before you came. You blindsided me. And as much as I want to hate you- I can't. And I hate it. I don't want to feel like this." Dean felt anger inside him. What was so bad about being gay. He stood up, Cas was right. He was mad, so mad. Wtf he doesn't want to be gay? Well guess what, it ain't gonna change and it'll only ruin his life. He couldn't help but almost yell when he spoke. " So, what's your plan? Deny your feelings for me? Look for some girl? And if you would be able to keep your attraction under control and you 'like' a girl. Would it be fair towards her? You would ruin her life. And wouldn't you rather be happy with me? We could be happy together Cas? Can't you see that?" Cas widened his eyes at Dean's confession. "Dean-" He couldn't finish his sentence, so he just stood up. "No you listen. I liked you since that night, you told me to forget about it. And I did. You asked me to 'just be friends' and I did. I did everything you wanted. I even went out with your brother even though it is obvious he is in love with my little brother!" Dean stopped to change his tone so gabe and Sam wouldn't hear.   .