That one night (Destiel-highschool)

Chapter 27

Part 79

Dean sighed, thinking about what to say. "What are we?" He said. Cas didn't respond and Dean thought that maybe he had gone back to sleep. But when he heard Cas sight, he knew he was still awake. "I don't know, I like you... a lot. But I don't know if i'm ready for... a relationship. I do want to be with you though. " Dean let the words sink in and thought about them. "Dean?" Cas asked when Dean didn't respond. "You there?" He asked again. "Yeah, i'm here. I like you too. Let's just take things slow, okay?" Dean asked. Cas sighed and even though it was dark in the room, Dean could see him smile. "Yeah, I would like that." He said, He gave Dean a small peck on the lips before turning and snuggling against Dean. "Goodnight Dean" He said. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and smiled against Cas's back of his head. "Goodnight." He said quietly. He wasn't sure if Cas heard or not but he didn't care. They fell asleep spooning each other. It was peaceful but of course Cas's thoughts had to disturb that, he didn't really have time to think about what had happened today. And he didn't have anything else to do right now so his mind began to wonder. What were they? Are they together? Dean just asked him if they were together and he said that he wanted to take it slow. What does that mean? Do they kiss? Do they hold hands? Does this mean Cas is gay? Or bisexual? What will people think? Does he come out? Do they sneak around? Cas's mind didn't settle for a long time but as if Dean was reading his mind, he pulled him closer. They were already pretty close but now Cas didn't think there was any space between them. Finally Cas fell asleep, not that that was much better.

Part 80

Cas had nightmares often but not like this. This dream- nightmare started happy, it started peaceful. He and Dean were sleeping, just sleeping. They were older, Cas didn't see it, didn't see the older Dean. But he felt it, he felt older. He was there, it felt like he was. It felt so real. He didn't feel like he missed years, even though he didn't have any memories. Cas was snuggled up against Dean and everything was perfect, he didn't have to worry about other people, he had never cut himself, Him and Dean were just... Perfect. That was what perfect for Cas was, not a big house, not a lot of money. No. Perfect for Cas was just... Peace. And then it ended. He felt something move behind him and he turned to see what was happening. He couldn't open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. After what felt like a million years, he finally opened them. He saw Dean, he was getting out of bed and walking towards a closet. He only looked at one of the sides so Cas guessed it was their 'home' But it didn't feel like home, something was off. Dean didn't notice and Cas was watching him pack a bag. He looked at the clock to see how late it was and he saw that it was 3 A.M. He couldn't quite funtion so he just looked at Dean. It felt like him body, his mind, his heart. But he didn't have any control over it. When he saw Dean write a note he realised what Dean was doing. He suddenly stood up without knowing doing it. "Dean! What the hell are you doing?!" He yelled, suddenly very aware of what was happening. Dean was almost out of the door but Cas was just in time. Dean sighed and turned around. "I was hoping not to wake you." He said, casually. Like this was the most normal thing ever. "What WERE you doing?!" Cas asked, demanding an answer. "I don't want this!" Dean yelled, the words were like knives, cutting Cas's heart. It hurt more than the cut.

Part 81

"What do you mean?" Cas asked. He felt really weak all of the sudden. "I'm not Gay! And even if I was, do you really think I was going for something like you?! You're just a piece of trash!" He said- yelled. What the hell was happening, this wasn't supposed to happen, they were happy, it was peaceful. Cas felt weak in the knees. "We were happy" He said, tears streaming down his face. "No we weren't. I thought I was. But i'm not. Nobody is happy Cas. You're just a burden that some of us have to carry. I can't live like this. " And that was it. Cas fell to his knees and suddenly it stopped. Suddenly he wasn't with Dean anymore. He was at home, back in the bathroom. The same razor on the counter. Screaming Castiel's name, Dean's words. They hurt, they hurt more that anything in the entire world. Castiel couldn't resist. He couldn't. "Why? Why? Why would you do that? Dean? What is happening?" Cas cried out. He grabbed the razor, and wiped his tears away. He set the razor to his arm when suddenly everything stopped and he was back in a dark room, back on a bed. Back with Dean. When his mind woke up and he could function again he heard someone call his name. He knew that voice, it was Dean. He was back to being a teenager again. Back to 'normal'. "Cas? You okay? Cas? " Dean whispered. He nudged Cas a few times before Cas could open his eyes. "Dean? What happened? Are you still here? Do you still like me?" Dean turned to switch on the lamp and when Cas could see his face again, all he could see was concern and a small smile. "Yeah, of course. Why else would I be here?" He mocked. Cas didn't say anything so Dean continued. "You were crying and I figured you had a bad dream. Was I right?" It was only than that Castiel found out that his face and pillow were wet. "Yeah, I had a nightmare." Dean laid down again and grabbed Cas's head and laid it down on his chest. Dean was facing the ceiling and Cas's arm was hugging him. Finding comfort in Dean's heartbeat, it was a constant reminder that he was still there. "Tell me about it. " Dean said, Cas could hear Dean's real curiosity. He wasn't just making small talk. He really cared.