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seventeen

i was walking back home from school. taehyung had to go early since he had a dentists appointment so here i was. alone. walking in an alley.

"oh my, look who we have here," i heard a very familiar voice say,"jeon. jung. kook." the voice said making sure that every word hit me. hard.

my throat met with a very familiar feeling which was being tied up in a knot, making it hard for me to breathe.

the footsteps got real close to my shaking, trembling figure and i could feel his presence behind me. he took slow steps and he was face to face with me.

i slowly looked up to his eyes. his signature smirk was plastered on his lips. "where's your little boy toy?" he said,"tae? what was it again? oh taehyung"

i gulped. "i asked you a question" he raised his voice. i got startled as his sudden outburst. but then again it was jimin hyung. "h-he had a d-dentist a-appointment" i managed to stutter out

"ah" he went back to smirking,"what makes you think he had an appointment?". "h-he t-told me" i quietly said as i lowered my head down

"ah foolish, naive kid" jimin hyung said with a cunning sound. i could not make out what he was trying to tell me at all. i gathered up all my guts and looked at him with a hint of 'confusion' written on my face

"you seem confused" he said as he traced his finger along my cheek. my breath immediately hitched the moment his finger came in touch with my cheek

"it's okay. you'll find out sooner or later" he smirked and left without doing anything else.

i watched him as he walked out of the alley. my heart was beating as fast as ever and i'm sure it was really loud. there were zero thoughts going through my mind. i just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of my life.

i slowly started taking a few steps. after seeing jimin hyung i didn't have any willpower in me. i didn't even have the strength to balance myself. i lazily walked with an emotionless face.

my house was quite close so i reached it very soon. with lazy hands, i opened and pushed the door. entering my house, i could feel the cold aura of my house.

it had always been like this. my house itself had a very lonely vibe about it and i hated it. i hated it with all my mind, body and soul. i hated being in my house. being in my house gave me more time to think. it gave me more time to feel. it gave me more time to feel bad about myself. it gave me more time to cry about how pathetic and weak i am.

without noticing, tears were slowly battling to come out from my eyes. i quickly threw my bag away and went to change my clothes so i could distract myself from thinking too much and crying.

i changed and i went to the bathroom to wash up. i was about to wash my face but then i saw my reflection.

i stared at my own reflection. why does everything bad happen to me? why does everyone have to leave me? why can't i be loved? why does everyone look at me like i'm some garbage thrown on the streets? why am i bad at everything? why does everything i do end up being bad? millions of thoughts and unanswered questions were running through my mind as i looked at myself.

but then i looked at myself a little more carefully. i looked at my facial features which were flawed in every way possible. i looked at my collarbones popping out from my tshirt, looking sharper than knives. my arms full of scars,cuts and lots of bruises.

without noticing, tears were already falling out from my eyeballs. with my tears glistening, i let out a dry laugh, "now i know why people call me a waste of space"