17BLACK

Chapter 57

Harry's POV:

I don't need to think twice to know that Louis is on the roof. He likes to think up there, no matter how cold it is. It's still raining pretty hard, but I know him well enough to know that he won't care when his mind is cloudy like it probably is right now.

His door is unlocked and it makes me wonder if he knew I'd be by. Am I that predictable?

The rain sounds hard against the roof as I enter his building. It makes me feel like I'm in the middle of a war zone with bullets raining down over me. And, in a way, I am in a war zone. From what I've seen Louis' mind sure does resemble one.

Hopefully the end results aren't the same.

I'm hit with the heavy rain when I open the latch to the roof. I push myself up to the balls of my feet, and then shut the door to the shaft. I stand up out of my crouch and squint against the rain.

The greenhouse is glowing. Actually glowing. The soft blue light is radiating over the area of the roof, coating everything in a blue haze. I hold my arms out and observe the unusual blue tint to them. It's breathtaking.

I know Louis is in the greenhouse without having to check my surroundings. I don't go to the greenhouse immediately, though. I need a few minutes to sort my thoughts.

First things first. I'm in love with Louis. It's a weird sort of feeling, like I don't have possession over my heart anymore. It simply doesn't belong to me. I didn't give it over to him, he took it. And I don't care. Louis can have it.

I don't know where this will take me and honestly it frightens me a bit when I think about how powerless I am to him, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm in love with Louis Tomlinson and I'm going to run into it with everything I have.

And that brings me to where I am now. On this roof with rain soaking through my clothes and the cold seeping through my bones. It's utterly and completely intriguing.

I close my eyes and feel the rain on my cheeks, my lips, my chin. My lashes grow heavy from the water.

"Harry?" I feel my shoulders relax as Louis says my name from the greenhouse. His voice is soft and restricted, has he been crying? I strain my eyes to see his shadow fall across the side of the greenhouse wall. He was right when he said that the outside perspective is blurry. With the darkness and the rain, it's hard to see him at all.

I'm barely able to see him stand and cross his arms.

"It's me." My voice doesn't carry well through the storm.

The silence that follows is filled with a kind of awkwardness that makes me want to laugh. It shouldn't be like this. There shouldn't be a wall between us. Figuratively and literally. I'm not going to restrain myself from Louis. Not him.

"Did you want your stuff back?" We're walking on glass here.

I fight through the rain and make my way to the greenhouse. I'm an arms length away but I don't dare open the door. Stupid nerves.

I'm so close to him that I can hear his sniffles and muffled cries. I tense, immediately getting defensive before I remember that I am the reason for his tears. Can't beat myself up now, can I?

"No. I kind of forgot something." I forgot to the you that I love you more than I love anything and I hate hurting you more than I hate anything and I couldn't stay away from you if I tried but that's okay because I don't want to. I forgot to kiss you goodnight.

I put my hand on the door handle, thinking that approaching Louis would be worth more to me than letting him continue crying. Getting over my nerves isn't such a big deal when I think about the alternative, which is to let him cry by himself.