nine

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harry and louis had driven home in silence, neither of them knowing what to say after they had kissed.

well, it was silent except for louis groaning in frustration and running his hands through his hair every few seconds, as if it was the worse thing he could've done.

"louis, it's okay," harry said quietly, as they stopped at a red light on the highway.

"no, it's not!" was all he replied, blowing air out through his lips.

"you know this would all be better if you could explain your random outbursts," harry whispered, shaking his curls around before brushing them across his forehead. and all louis could do was sigh and rest his head on the steering wheel.

"okay, i'll tell you."

harry waited, but the doncaster boy never said anything.

"lou-"

"let me think!" louis yelled, slamming his hand against the wheel and emitting a loud honk, and both the boys jumped.

"okay," harry breathed, biting his lip and closing his eyes, trying not to take everything too personally.

why did he even like louis when half the time he was getting hurt?

"harry, i'm-"

"just stop!" harry screamed, covering his ears and squeezing his eyes shut. he felt like he was five years old again, trying to block out the taunting of his classmates when they told him he was weird and he cried too much.

the younger boy flinched when louis placed a hand on his arm, giving a gentle squeeze, and then his whole body seemed to relax from louis' warm touch.

"harry, uncover your ears," louis said softly, moving his hand up his arm and into his curls.

the curly boy hesitantly removed his hand from his ears and opened his eyes, and the only thing he could feel was louis' light touch as he tangled his fingers through his hair.

"harry, talk to me," louis whispered, continuing the small movements.

and harry wanted to speak, but he couldn't bring himself to.

"harry," louis sang, and when his voice cracked harry couldn't help but smile a tiny bit, but it immediately turned into a frown.

"harry styles, hazza, curly, harold!"

and harry found himself grinning like a fool and trying not to laugh because louis was now patting his cheek and doing stupid baby noises.

"who's a good boy? who's a cute boy?" louis cooed, and harry was about to die because wow louis was cute and louis was now touching his lips with his short, delicate fingers.

"bpd," louis finally sighed, casually resting his hands back on the steering wheel and staring straight ahead.

bpd?, harry thought, running it over and over in his head before remembering to look it up.

and soon louis was dropping harry off at his house with a sad smile, and harry gave a shy wave before sprinting up to his room and pulling his phone out of his pocket.

he clicked on the google app and typed in bpd.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Symptoms Include: Mood swings, depression, self-harm...

the curly boy jerked back, his mouth wide open as he threw his phone out of his hands.

louis... he told him.. louis had borderline personality disorder.

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