Personal Experience

Chapter Eighteen

*Colleen's P.O.V.*

The night moves along slowly for me, and I'm terrified as to how I'm supposed to handle all of this if Harry and I continue to date. No privacy, being stalked non-stop; I don't know how I'm supposed to adjust to this life. As I toss and turn not being able to sleep I hear Harry's phone buzz. He hasn't paid much attention to it since we came on this vacation. Or what was supposed to be a vacation. I pick it up to see who it is. He has a text from Niall: Check twitter. It's a madhouse!

I hesitantly open the app scared at what I might see. I carefully scroll through the screen; through his mentions. Millions of pictures have blown up his twitter feed. There are the ones the fans got with them, and then there are the ones no one should be seeing. It's us girls; running back into the hotel, each of us with our guys separately, and when we were in my room watching the commotion from my windows. Then I see pictures of just me, and Harry and me. Everyone questioning him, fans getting angry that he didn't tell them he's dating someone, and the hate. The hate has already begun. I start to cry as I read them:

'She looks like some whore he picked up along the way.'

'Hahahaha look how fat she is! She shouldn't be wearing those pants!' I lift my covers to see if it's true. I don't see anything. Will it get to me that I'll start believing it?

'Harry can't be dating her! Harry doesn't date anyone!' I guess it would seem that way since I'm the first girl he's dated since Taylor.

'Watch out mystery girl, we're coming!' Coming?

'Don't forget about that girl with Niall, he needs a younger girl. Like me!' She's probably twelve…

'Ha-ha Niall's girl, what about Liam's?! That whore shouldn't be running around with a billionaire sex god!' She's the one getting the D... Jealously shocks me.

'Ha-ha I heard Niall's girl is from South Africa, what a waste! He could do so much better!' What the hell does where she's from matter?!

And they get worse and worse. Half of them are already pictures of me being manipulated to look bad. I feel my eyes watering and try to hold back the tears that I'm tired of crying. Harry isn't wrapped around me, so I sneak out of the bedroom and head for the balcony. Andrea's sitting on one of the chairs.

"Hey baby girl," she whispers. "What are you doing up?" she asks trying to hide the fact that she was just crying.

"I could ask you the same thing," I sniffle.

"Between Niall’s snoring and the hate tweets, I Couldn’t sleep, did you see them?" she asks not looking at me. I clutch Harry's phone tighter in my hand. She looks over to me for my answer, and I can only slightly nod my head. "Is he asleep?"

"I-I think so... I hope so..." I sit next to her. "Why are they so mean?" I whisper.

"I've been asking myself that since I started listening to their music."

"Was it you or Niall that texted Harry to look at twitter?"

"Me. Niall's still asleep."

"Why? He doesn't need that stress. Why did you even look?"

"Because I didn't think I would see what I saw."

"I don't know if I can do this."

"Come here, baby," I move into Andrea's lap as she begins to sooth me. "It's going to be okay. Harry, Niall, I and the rest of us aren't going to let anything happen to you."

I don't say anything for a few minutes. "I wanted to cut."

She pushes me from her chest, "Don't you ever say or think that again!" I've caused her to cry harder. "I never want to hear those words again! If you do that to yourself Harry would never forgive himself."