Personal Experience

Chapter Thirty-Two

*Harry's P.O.V.*

A part of me has died. Not a note, not a word from her. I know she ran; but I have no clue as to where or why. Did she give up? Did I let her down? "FUCK!" I yell as I throw her phone across the floor. "What did I do? What happened to you?" I vigorously wipe tears from my face.

"Harry, you need to calm down. She'll make contact when she's ready. Just give her time. Give her space," Holly speaks from the door. Liam and Kaitlyn's eyes show fear and worry.

"No! I let her down!" I yell at them standing up. I shove past them going to the kitchen of my house. I immediately grab a drink from my fridge. The only thing I've really done since she left.

"Harry!" Liam tries to grab my beer. "You can't keep doing this! You can't fucking drink away your problems. Don't forget we're," he motions towards Kaitlyn and himself, "Just as worried about her, you know?! She's our responsibility too!"

"It's different!"

"How is it different?"

"I love her! She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!" The three of them look at me shocked. "Okay?!" I start to chug my beer. "I'm scared she's given up."

"I'm sure she didn't give up," Kaitlyn says about to touch me. "Maybe she needs this. Maybe she needs to clear her head, and figure out where to go from here, Harry." She makes contact with my arm and rubs it.

"Like I said, it's easy for you two to say these things, but it's not for me. Louis and Niall are are back with their girls while I have no clue where Colleen is. Zayn is with Perrie, and Liam, you have Kaitlyn right next you. I don't have a clue where to even start looking for her."

"What did her dad say?" Liam asks with a look of remorse.

"He said they had no idea she ran. They thought she was still with us..." I shake my head.

Liam and Kaitlyn leave along with Holly knowing they can't do anything for me. I stare out the window of my London home, the one that Colleen and I finally started sharing, since I'm finally home. All I do is stare and drink. But now, now it's only mine. I watch the sea of people walk through the streets, and the fans trying to get my attention from the front gates of the house.

My phone begins to buzz; I grab it hoping to God it's Colleen. It's not; it's just Twitter. I decide to read a few.

"We love you Harry!"

"Where's Colleen? You and her were perfect!"

"Harry, we're worried about you."

Days ,weeks, months have gone by, yet I've heard nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. I don't know what to do without my baby girl. I'm too scared to contact her, and I can't think of how. Everyone can feel sad for me all they want, but it's not going to make a difference. It's not going to bring Colleen back. After finishing the fifth beer I've had today I storm out of the house grabbing my leather jacket before I slam the front door shut. I drive my Rover out of the driveway hoping everyone gets the fuck out of my way. They do as soon as the see the angered expression on my face. I could care less about the crowd of people in front of me. My thoughts were preoccupied by only one person, and one person alone. The one person I want, but the one who left without saying goodbye. The hurt and the anger rises; taking over my over my heart. I slowly slip into dangerous territories. Partying. And drinking.

As I sit at the bar of the night club my drunken state gets worse and worse. It has been weeks; over a month since I last saw Colleen. "Harry, what they hell are you doing here?" I turn looking through hazy eyes looking at who I assume to be Louis.