I'm Sorry // 5sos sister

16. Shopping Day and Hospital

"I don't feel like doing anything today but then again I also do." I said to Sam as we looked at each other from opposite sides of my bed. She leaned her head on her hand and looked at the bed.

"How about the mall? I need new band merchant anyway." Sam said as she jumped up to get dressed. I nodded my head in agreement, I need new long sleeve shirts. I also want to get a new Green Day shirt because mine is all faded. I walked to my closet as Sam walked to the bathroom to change.

Black skinny jeans and a Blink 182 shirt seemed perfect. I threw them on as Sam came back out and I grabbed my knock off converse and my phone. I walked out into the hallway and went to Ash's bedroom door. I knocked a few times and then entered to see him sprawled on his bed still asleep.

"Hey sleepy head get your butt up you're taking us to the mall!!!!" I said as I climbed onto his bed and started jumping up and down. He turned over and flipped me off which led to him then covering his head with his pillow. I sat next to him and poked his side continuously to no avail. Then, I had the perfect idea. I got up slowly and walked out of his room.

I grabbed Sam from my room and pulled her to Ashton's doorway. I told her the plan and she agreed because we both wanted to leave. I slowly creeped to Ash's bed like a ninja. When I got to the side where he was, I motioned for Sam to move closer. Then when we were in position, I jumped up onto Ashton's torso and tickled his sides as Sam tickled his feet.

"I surrender!!! I surrender!!! I will take you to the mall!!!!" Ashton struggled to get out as we tickled him. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek and followed Sam out of his room. The mission was successful.

We go to the mall and hopped out of the car. Sam led the way in and took us to a store that was like heaven for me. It had any band shirt that you could think of and Ashton seemed impressed too. I walked up and down the aisles and picked up a Green Day, All Time Low, and Mayday Parade shirt. I also grabbed a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and a pair of black boots.

I met up with Sam at the register and we paid for our clothes. We grabbed Ashton and headed back out to the car. "Best shopping experience ever." I declared as I jumped into the back seat beside Sam. Ashton climbed into the drivers seat and shook his head while a little smile appeared on his face.

The whole ride Sam and I just talked about bands and who we wanted to see if we would be able too. We both agreed that Green Day and All Time Low top the list. Ash decided to drop Sam off at her house because her mom was probably worried and I promised to have another sleepover sometime soon. She grabbed her bag and waved goodbye. I climbed up front and the rest of the ride to the house Ash and I belted out Blink 182 like real siblings should.

We got home and we were greeted by all the guys. I told them I was just going to chill out in my room and put my new stuff away. Even though the day was amazing, the itch on my wrists had gotten a lot stronger. I knew that Mikey would be disappointed but there wasn't much that I could do to control it. When it started I knew it wouldn't stop.

Step by step I walked to the drawer where I hid it. I grabbed it and sprinted to the bathroom. I examined it first and then dragged it once across the skin on my wrist. Blood bubbled up and I continued to make small cuts across my wrist. I made a few on my hip and put it back in its hiding place.

I realized what I had done and I started thinking about the guys and how disappointed they would be if they found out. My breathing started to quicken and black dots messed with my vision. This had happened before. I knew that I was having a panic attack and I would pass out. I tried making it to my bed but I couldn't and I collapsed on the floor. The last thing I saw was the four boys I love surrounding me.

"Is she ok?" I heard someone say as I kept my eyes closed.

"She is ok but we need to keep her here for a day or so." Oh no. I was in a hospital. They know. The guys know. I had another panic attack and blacked out once again this time doctors surrounding me.

*Sorry I didn't update yesterday I kind of forgot and I was at a friends house so yeah. I hope you're liking it and yeah :) *

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