I'm Sorry // 5sos sister

18. Holiday and Betrayed

** Im updating because I feel like it and I had a really good idea so yeah :) **

"Sleepy head, wake up......."  Michael whispered while shaking me slightly.  I opened one eye to see his face right in front of me so I turned onto my other side.  I wanted sleep and he was not helping with the situation. "Jess, you have to wake up.  We are leaving for the airport in a few hours."  He said as he poked my side a few times.

"Wait where are we going?" Michael continued to poke my side until I turned back over and sat up to face him.  I rested my head in my hand and used my other hand to tell him to go on.

"Well, we are going to London for a few weeks to write some songs for our new album and you are coming with us.  We also are playing some shows there with the 1D boys."  Michael explained.  He went to my closet and grabbed my suitcase out of it.  He threw me a sweatshirt and skinny jeans and underwear and a bra.  I didnt even care that he was looking at my underwear as long as he packed my stuff and I didnt have to.

I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom to change.  When I came back out I threw my pajamas into my suitcase which Michael had packed for me and I zipped it up.  I grabbed my backpack and put my laptop and other stuff in it for the plane ride.  I put my phone and headphones into my back pocket and took my bags down the stairs.  I checked the time and I saw we had three hours before we had to leave to go to the airport.  I realized that Sam must have left earlier this morning, probably because her mom was worried about her.  I sent her a quick text that the boys and I were going to London for a little while.  She told me we would have to face time everyday and that she would miss me.

"Morning Jess." Luke said as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and poured some Lucky Charms into it.  I said hello and sat down next to him at the table.  I pulled out my phone and went in to Twitter.  I had gained thousands of followers since the fans figured out I was Ashton's sister.  I sent a quick good morning tweet to my followers and then put my phone back into my pocket.  Luke nudged me and pointed outside to where Calum was doing his morning workout.  He was doing some type of jumping squat thing and we both cracked up laughing.

"I'm gonna go watch TV.  Want to watch Mean Girls?"  I asked as I got up and put my bowl into the sink.  I saw Luke sprint behind me into the living room without even giving me an answer.  Mean Girls was his ultimate favorite movie in the entire world.  

~~~after the flight~~~

"Alright guys I'm going to bed.  Goodnight."  I said as we got to the hotel rooms and went our seperate ways.  The guys had gotten me my own room that connected to theirs with a door.  It was kind of just like at home, but now we are in London.  

"Hey Jess we are gonna go out to eat and stuff.  We will be back in a few hours ok? You have our numbers if you need us."  Ashton said as him and the boys piled out of the room.  I gave him a smile and double thumbs up.  

I logged into mine and Sam's "secret" fan account on Instagram.  We had surprisingly gained a lot of followers after only having it for a short amount of time.  I posted a picture of Ashton and Calum and told our followers that I was going to be on holiday for a little while so I might not be posting as much.  

The guys had told me that I should interact with the fans so I decided that I would do a following spree on Twitter and talk to some of their fans.  I followed as many people and I could and I actually had some really good conversations with some fans.  They were really nice and I was so thankful for that.  They made me feel like part of their family and it was amazing.  

Once I was done with a conversation with a fan, I heard the guys go back into their room.  I knocked on the dividing door and opened it slightly.  That's when I saw it.  Calum.  With another girl.  They were in the middle of a heated make out session.  I closed the door quietly and then collapsed onto my floor.  How could he do this to me?  I thought he really liked me.  I guess I was totally wrong.  

I wrapped my arms around my knees and started rocking back and forth.  I knew I was having a panic attack but I had to calm myself down before I passed out again.  I had to get a blade.  It was the only thing that I could do to calm myself down.  I stumbled to the bathroom and skillfully took apart one of my razors.  

I dragged the blade across my skin and watched the blood drip from my wrist onto the leggings.  I did it about twenty times.  I grabbed the first aide kit from the cabinet and cleaned my cuts.  They were deep but not deep enough to seriously injure me.  I put bandages on them pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt back down to cover them.  

I climbed into my bed and cried until I fell asleep.  I had to tell Ashton in the morning.  I owed him that.  But I don't want to be anywhere near Calum.

*** Well uh oh. And double update yay!!! hope you're liking it ***