•Temptations of hell• {B+B}✔️

23. Empty and alone

Cole

Today's events have been unexpected.

First the visit from Ace and Jax, next I was approached from that DI Wood who questioned me about who the person behind all these attempts against Shadow that ended with him telling me that when I get out of prison to give him a call. The day ended with Shadow braking a guys wrist when he dragged me off and began making out with me.

Yes, I kissed back and it was a big fucking mistake.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, COLE?!" Shadow screamed at me, eyes and cheeks red. This was the closest he's ever gotten to crying and it was because I was an utter fucktart. "YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY?!" I opened my mouth but shut it again to avoid making this worse. "SORRY ISN'T ENOUGH!"

Shadow tugged at his hair, he was shaking and I didn't know if it was from anger or from trying not to cry.

I felt like shit. Honestly, who fucking stupid am I? Screwing this up? Whatever I had with Shadow was special and I just had to fuck it up like the whore I was.

"Shadow-you can cry if you need to." I mumbled shyly. "I-I deserve to see how much I hurt you."

He looked up from the floor to meet my eyes and I instantly shattered. Shadow didn't need to cry for me to see that I hurt him probably more then he could express physically.

Even though we were not officially like boyfriends or some shit, I still basically cheated on him. I did exactly what Jax did to me. Tears pricked at my eyes but I wiped them away. I didn't deserve to be cry, I should be on my knees and begging for forgiveness not cry like I was the victim in the situation.

I was the villain. I was always the villain. The one to hurt people, tore them down or fuck up.

I was starting to think that there was seriously wrong with me.

"What were you thinking? Why'd you do it?" Shadow asked more calmly.

Did he want to hear the truth?

Would it make everything worse?

Saying it out loud would make me sound stupid.

"I-I..." The words just wouldn't escape. I thought about it for a moment, getting everything into place. Shadow looked at me, eyes bloodshot, cheeks stained —I hadn't even realised he let the tears fall until now— and an eyebrow raised.

Moments turned to minutes and I still couldn't get the words out. Shadow was growing more and more irritated with my silence.

"Fine. I'm leaving." Shadow finally broke the silence. Part of me couldn't ignore the idea that he meant forever and that petrified me.

No, he can't leave! Not like Jax!

Shadow pushed past me to the door. I heard the click of the door opening behind me. "Please-" I gasped, unable to look at him when my chest felt like it was so tight I couldn't breath or my eyes burned. I couldn't have him leave even if it were for an hour, everyone always left me.

"Please what?" Shadow asked and I couldn't help but scoff mentally about the fact that he asked me this every night...except now it wasn't such of a turn on. Once I didn't reply again I heard the click of the cell door locking.

I waited ten seconds before falling to my knees, face in hands and choking back sobs.

He didn't deserve this.

"Why do I always mess up? Why...?"

Shadow left, just like everyone else. He hated me just like everyone else. He left like everyone else. He left. Shadow just left me.

I should be used to the fear of abandonment by now since I felt it every day but as much as I told myself that I should get used to people picking up and leaving once my true colours shone through, I never could. I had felt the fear with Jax, with any fling I'd had and now with Shadow.

I feared Brendon would leave as well. He'd run of with Matt once he got out and I'd be here, empty and alone.

Empty and alone...

Dale

It was 12:00am when they stopped.

Shadow probably kept the whole prison awake with his screaming.

I'd heard things smash or hit a wall. It sounded violent.

Mostly those noises meant they were going at it like bunnies —apparently Cole liked it really rough.

Shadow was just happy to have Cole with him at all times and more importantly, he was just happy to fuck him dry.

I can't complain though, I'm the exact same way, a horny motherfucker. The only difference was Shadow liked cock and I liked pussy.

Well, Brendon and I had had sex among other things but that meant nothing to either of us. It was just an act because Brendon was hopeless when it came to 'getting the girl' wait, 'getting the guy'. I simply saw it as charity work.

It didn't bother me that I'd fucked the kid up the ass hole, I didn't like him and that's that.

"So, Amia tell me why you're here and not with my good old mate?" I asked the blonde who had barged into my room for a hook up earlier tonight. "What'd Matt do? Call you 'Brendy' or some shit?"

"No, he just told me I repulsed him. I guess you were right when you said he was gay. I'm pretty sure he was making love to that Japanese boy in his dreams when I got there." I laughed out loud. Oh god, that was pathetic but adorable.

"H-how'd you know?" I gasped.

"Matt was moaning out 'kitten' but when he woke up...well he just called me Amia, so that was my first clue." Wow, Kitten. I didn't expect that from my friend Matthew Smith. He wasn't the type to have a kitten kink, but clearly I didn't know him as well as I thought. "His dick literally softened at my touch and when I left I saw the little shit enter his cell, moments later they were moaning and groaning then Brendon never came out of the door."

My eyes widened before I lost it. I was laughing so hard tears were crawling down my cheeks. My stomach began to hurt like shit but I only cracked up more, winching now and then.

My cackling died down once I saw Amia's death glare. Her eyes bored into my soul and I would've been scared if I could.

A knock on my cell door caused my eyes to snap to the opening metal door. Sherman tip-toed into my cell with a skinny boy. His cheeks were hollow and his sharp and high cheekbones were covered by almost black but glowing skin. The boy had a buzz cut and deep brown eyes framed by thick lashes.

I new the guy. Tony.

"I wasn't expecting you so soon, should I be concerned at the lack of persuading it took?" I peel the covers off me and stood up, shooing away the weak officer. Tony flinched at the sound of the door locking with a quiet click. I walked up to him slyly. The back of my index finger traced his cheek bones. "Such a shame, you are very handsome, pity you won't be missed."

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~Ash