Chapter 39 *EDITED*

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Harley's P.O.V
I woke up to the sound of someone banging my door hard. I rubbed my eyes and tried to seat up so I could see what was happening.

My eyes settled on someone pacing just before my bed.

Rafael looked like shit, his hair was messy, his eyes were red and he had dark circles around his eyes.
He looked deranged and angry.

I sat where I was not wanting to move or make a sound. He kept pacing speaking words I couldn't hear. He was not talking in Russian but another foreign language. He was starting to freak me out, his pacing made me anxious.  I didn't know what to do or say but part of me told me to get out of that room.

I slipped out of bed slowly trying not to catch his attention. I took soft steps making my way to the door. When I was near I walked faster wanting to get the hell out of there. If only there was a key, I would just lock him inside, I thought. The door was near, I walked faster but just out of nowhere I was pinned to the wall. I hit with my back and groaned. My hands went straight to my belly.

Rafael was so close I could feel his breath on my skin. His hands had locked me in position as he stood there, his chest rising and falling. He didn't utter a word for a minute, he seemed to be deep in thought.  I had never seen him like this and it scared me because I didn't know what he would do. He looked insane.

Finally he looked at my face and blinked, his features softened. His mouth relaxed from the scorn it was in and it was like he hadn't seen me in a long while. He looked at me, like really looked at me. He just stared deep into my eyes so much that I started to feel uncomfortable. His eyes travelled down my body and up again then he looked like he was deep in thought.

He was like a young boy who didn't know who he was, who was confused and lost.

I didn't dare utter a word but just stood there looking at him then suddenly he just hugged me. He held me tight, his nose in my hair as he sniffed it. I was frozen still, my heart was drumming because I didn't know what he was doing, I stood there my hands on my vent , my eyes wide.

"Let go of me." I said after a while.

He didn't let go but squeezed tight.

"Let go of me, don't touch me, let go of me."  I said firmly as I started pushing him away.

"Let go of me!" I shouted my voice breaking as I pushed him harder and harder.

My tears were clouding my eyes.

What was he doing?

He didn't deserve to touch me, he was a sick psychopath.

"Don't you dare touch me, you hurt me, you beat me while I was carrying your baby. You starved me. You make my skin crawl. I hate you!  I wish you die, how could you do this to me. I trusted you! I gave you my all and you broke me. Are you happy, are you happy of what you have done. You make me sick!" All the words I had wanted so bad to tell him just spilled out of my mouth.

I expected him to get angry, I expected him to hit me but I didn't care. I didn't care anymore.

My whole body shook.

He let go of me and stepped back.

"This is your fault," I heard him say and I went crazy.

"What did you just say?"

I slapped him so hard my palm turned red.  I looked for something, anything nearby to hit him with but there was nothing.

How dare he?

"You knew I was in love with someone else, you knew I didn't want you yet you seduced me and made me think I loved you, you fell pregnant. Why did you fall pregnant?" He said and I thought my ears were not hearing right.

I didn't have the energy to answer him.

He was crazy, he was insane.  I didn't do anything.
My body went weak and my knees gave out as I fell.
My chest was closing in and I couldn't breathe, the room was spinning.

Why hadn't I have seen, why hadn't I realise that he was crazy. How can a sane person possibly think that?

He didn't want to take the blame, he didn't want to admit that he was the one on the wrong.

I felt strong arms pick me up and place me on the bed, he then covered me with my blankets as I curled on holding my belly. I could feel his eyes on me for some time before he said "it's all your fault."

He turned around and walked away closing the door behind him. I lay there too tired to cry, too shocked to move. I just lay there.

In my mind I kept thinking.

Was it my fault?

Was he right?

I had known he loved another so was it was my fault?

Had I made him do all these things he had done to me?

Had I seduced him?

Maybe it was my fault.

My lip quivered and tears just rolled down my cheeks as I felt like I was losing my mind.

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