23. What tomorrow holds

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Henry's pov - I can't stop thinking about her and it's frustrating. I don't know how but I allowed myself to get hurt, I told myself multiple times to not get attached towards her but I got and now there is nothing I can do to go back again. She probably likes Carter. I don't have a slightest chance with her and even if I ever had, I really don't want to give her the life which I am experiencing. She don't deserve to be in my hell life, she don't deserve to suffer like me. She don't know anything about me, nobody knows. Everyone knows I am rich, I can do anything, but nobody knows how much I have to fight each day to survive. And I really don't want her to live like this. My parents never cared about me, they just want me to be the top gangleader and nothing else just to continue their legacy or whatever. And I tried to always make them happy but they never asked me how I am feeling or if I am OK. Only my friends knows my suffering, right now they are the only people who care about me. I never knew what love is but the things I am experiencing, I know I am in trouble. I not only like her but I love her.

With this confession to myself I took one more sip of my beer looking at the full moon. I am in deep shit.

"Henry... "

That voice. It is her. It is scary to know how much I have shared my life with her that she now even knows where to find me. I didn't looked back because I was in a miserable state and she don't have to look at me like that. if I look at her, I will fall in love again with her.

"Henry please look at me" she said. But she don't know that I can't, I don't want that suffering again.

"Why are you here?" I asked in strict voice not looking at her. I heard footsteps coming closer.

"To apologize" she said in low voice. Yeah. Right. To apologize for what? To love someone else.

"There's nothing to apologize" I said.

"Please atleast listen to me" she pleaded. The rational part of me was shouting at me to say no but my other part which I didn't even knew I have was pleading me to atleast listen. So I stayed silent there and she took that as a cue to continue.

"There is nothing going on between carter and I, I don't know why he kissed me but I ran off immediately after that, and on exactly that time my mom saw us" she said sitting now beside me. I finally looked at her. I actually felt relieved but it didn't help any less.

"Do you like him?" I blurted. Her eyes were fluffy, was she crying? No, she might be tired. But still she looked so beautiful under the moonlight.

"No I don't like him" she said. And I felt like tons of weight was removed from my chest. I breathed deeply. But then the thoughts of never making her suffer by making her mine came to my mind. I can't be so selfish. I nodded not knowing what to say. We both sat looking at moon.

"I am so sorry henry" she said. I looked at her.

"Don't be" I said. She was looking at me now and I don't know what to say to a girl whom you are hopelessly in love with but she can't be yours. I shifted my gaze towards the beautiful surroundings, she did same. We sath quietly.

"My granny found this place, she always used to bring me here. That was the only love I got from my family. The day she died... I took all her belongings and buried it here" I found myself telling her. I have never told anyone this rather than my friends. I thought she will console me like everyone else which was the last thing I needed now but she stayed silent and took my hand in hers and smiled reassuringly.

"You still miss her, don't you?" she asked. I nodded resting my head on the rock behind. I miss her. If she would have been here, I would have told everything about you. But she isn't here anymore.

"Why is moon always so beautiful?" I can't help but asked looking at the original moon but talking about the moon beside me. She rested her head on my shoulder which felt really good.

"Because everyone only sees it's beauty but it also has its dark spots" she said. I looked at her amused now. She always has a answer to almost everything. This made me think whether she is talking about herself... What kind of demons she is facing? I met her family, they loved her so much unlike me, they are even wealthy. So she doesn't even have anything to worry about but maybe I am wrong this all happy Nature can be a facade.

Now I wrapped my arms around her, don't know if she needed comfort. She visibily relaxed in my arms. It made my heart swell that maybe it will be last time that she will be in my arms. Oh god I sounded like typical love sick puppy. I can't believe that I am in love and on that also with the person whom I can never be together.

We stayed like that for so long that we lost the track of time. Tomorrow is the big day but for now I want this moment to be cherished. I know we can't be together but I don't want to ever loose her. I found myself scared over the thought of loosing her, I sighed, even if someone pointed gun on my skul, I wouldnt be scared.

"You don't know how much I have to bribe Daniel to get the address of this place from him" she said. I smiled first time after the party.

"I think we can be good friends" I said. She looked at me and after few seconds nodded. I gave her my hand to shake.

"Friends?" I asked.

"Good friends" she said. It sure felt like a traveller in desert experiencing mirage. You know it's not real but gives your heart a flutter for atleast few minutes.

"I think we should go" she said. I nodded. We both waved our goodbyes and went to our own cars. I sighed.
Tomorrow is a long day and nobody knows how much damage it can cause. How many people will take their last breath but I will do everything in my hand to stop the blood flow as much as possible.

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