The Doctor and I stand at the console talking and laughing quietly, that's when Rose walks in.
"What do you think of this? Will it do?" Rose asks, guesting to her outfit.
"In the late 1970s? You'd be better off in a bin bag. Hold on, listen to this" the Doctor puts a CD into the TARDIS player.
"Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Number One in 1979" I say.
"You're both punks," Rose says shaking her head.
"It's good to be lunatics" the Doctor smiles.
"That's what you two are. Two big old punks with a bit of rockabilly thrown in."
"Would you like to see him?" I ask.
"How'd you mean? In concert?"
"What else is a TARDIS for? We can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the first anti-gravity Olympics, Caesar crossing the Rubicon or Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21st November 1979. What do you think?" The Doctor asks.
"Sheffield, it is" Rose smiles.
"Hold on tight!" The Doctor says setting the TARDIS into motion, he then starts to beat the rhythm of the song on the console as they travel.
"Stop!" Rose shouts suddenly the TARDIS stops and we all get thrown to the floor.
"1979. Hell, of a year. China invades Vietnam. The Muppet Movie. Love that film. Margaret Thatcher. Urgh. Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb" the Doctor says getting up and walking out of the TARDIS followed by Rose and me "and I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to..." that's when the sound of rifles are cocked "my thumb" I look around to see we're surrounded by Redcoats "1879. Same difference."
"You will explain your presence. And the nakedness of these females" the officer in charge points to me and Rose, the Doctor looks around briefly before speaking.
"Are we in Scotland?" he asks in a Scottish accent.
"How can you be ignorant of that?" the officer says.
"Oh, I'm, I'm dazed and confused. Me and my wife here been chasing this, this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn't that right, ya timorous beastie?" I nod, the Doctor and I look to Rose.
"Och, aye! I've been oot and aboot" Rose says, my eyes widen and the Doctor leans over to Rose.
"No, don't do that" he whispers.
"Hoots mon."
"No, really don't. Really."
"Will you identify yourself, sir?"
"I'm Doctor James McCrimmon, from the township of Balamory and my wife the Seer. I have my credentials, if I may" the Doctor pulls out the psychic paper and shows the man "as you can see, a Doctorate from the University of Edinburgh. I trained under Doctor Bell himself" that's when an upper-class English accent comes from inside the carriage.
"Let them approach."
"I don't think that's wise, ma'am."
"Let them approach."
"You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference" a footman opens the carriage door.
"Rose, Seer, might I introduce her Majesty Queen Victoria. Empress of India and Defender of the Faith" the Doctor says.
"It's so nice to meet you, madam, I'm the Seer," I say in my best Scottish accent Victoria nods, a small smile on her face.
"Rose Tyler, Ma'am. And our apologies for being so naked" she says gesturing to me and herself.
