The Fish Song

Fire For You

     With the alcohol in my body, my brain shut down and with it, all my anxiety. All that was left was what was in my heart and my nervous system. I was tingling everywhere. All I wanted was to feel Harry's skin on mine. I tossed his shirt somewhere in the dark of the bus and bent my head back down fitting my mouth back to his. I placed my palm flat on his chest in hopes that I would know every time his heartbeat. I wanted to know if it was beating as fast as mine was. Harry's hands came down on my hips, holding me in place on top of him. Harry released my lips kissing my jaw and then bringing his head up to kiss behind my ear and down my neck, sending flames down my spine, a moan escaping my lips. I felt like I was truly alive for the first time. I felt like I was on fire. 

     "Harry, I want you," I said as the last of my body control was taken over by the alcohol. My head fell forward, my chin colliding with the back of Harry's head.

     "Shit," Harry said as he brought his hand to where we hit. "Are you okay?" He asked me bringing his other hand to my chin. I wasn't sure what happened but I wasn't feeling any pain. The only thing on my mind was Harry's body underneath me.

     "Uhm."

     "DJ, you are drunk. And it is really late.  You need to go to sleep," Harry said, pulling his body up into a sitting position so I was now straddling his lap rather than his stomach.

     "No Harry. I am fine. This is fine. I want this. You don't want this?" I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I began to climb off of him but his hands came back down on my hips holding me in place once again. I kept my head turned from him not wanting to look him in the eyes. I had no clue what I was doing and being with someone who had the experience, my actions felt embarrassing. Harry put a finger under my chin and moved my face so that I was looking right at him. His green oceans he called eyes burned right through my blue ones. Harry moved his face towards mine and gave me a small pecking kiss.

     "DJ, I do. Not with you like this though. I want it to be real. Not something you have no control over," he said tucking a fallen piece of hair behind my ear. I just wanted to hide my head under the blankets, taking back everything that just had happened, but the deed was already done.

     "Okay," I said in a quiet whisper. Harry smiled up at me and I couldn't help but weakly poke his left dimple, a shy smile forming on my lips. I pulled myself off him and moved towards the edge of the bunk to head back to mine, but Harry's hand was still on my hip and he pulled me back into him.

     "Not so fast, darling." Harry wrapped his arms around me, making me the little spoon to his big spoon. His arms were cool and soothing, and the feeling of safety in his presence was more restful than any lullaby. I may have made a fool of myself but I knew I was safe and accepted in his arms. At least for right now.

***

     Once again I was awake before Harry. Not that I minded, my body has its own clock. I was surprised how I didn't wake up feeling suffocated especially with Harry's arms still around me but I wasn't going to question it. I gently turned my body so I was now facing him. I propped myself up on my elbow to just stare at him. He was like my very own gift from, God, or whoever was out there granting gifts.

     I leaned down kissing him and then gently as to not wake him, pulled my body away from Harry's, and climbed out of his bunk. I figured I could get some writing done before he was awake and we needed to head to the arena. I walked to my closet pulling on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I grabbed my laptop and my phone off the charger, powering it back on so I could do my daily message check. As I waited for it to load any data from it being off I headed to the kitchen. I sat my laptop down on the counter and grabbed a banana off the wrack. I began to open it, taking a bite as my phone began to ding with all of the unread notifications.