The Fish Song

I like me better

     "I am so sorry. That was so embarrassing," I said as I entered the kitchen area of the tour bus. I had woken up after a semi forgotten night in Harry's bunk alone. Harry looked up from where he sat shirtless on the couch reading.

      "No it's not. It happens. No need to be sorry, love," Harry said, scooting over on the couch to make room for me. I sat down crossing my legs and leaning over to place my head in his lap.

     "No that does not just happen. I was so weird. I don't remember much but I know I talked a lot. Super annoying." I said with a groan. I vowed never do that again because of the way I act. I don't like it. It isn't me. Harry placed the book down next to him.

     "It's okay to have fun. Fun is what you need more of. You did talk a lot and that is okay. Everyone reacts differently. Nothing to be ashamed of," he said as he began to stroke my hair. He surprisingly wasn't making me feel any better. I was doing okay mostly for the first half of the night. We arrived to the party and everything was fine. Everyone was having fun. As more and more bodies entered the home, panic began to set in and the only thing that kept playing in my head was that night. I figured the only thing that would save me from my memories at that moment would be more weed. That wasn't such a good idea. I just became more stupid. All I could do was groan again. "Have you ever been to New York?" Harry asked and I shot up.

     "In my dreams. It is one of the places I have always wanted to go to. Something about the city life, it seems so beautiful to me." I almost forgot we were headed there today.

     "City of dreams, lights, and love. Everything a girl could want. We have today and tomorrow before the show on the seventh. What do you want to do?" Harry said, a smile planted on his face.

     "Everything. Wait. For sure the zoo. I love the zoo," I said a smile coming to my face thinking of penguins and monkeys. I dreamed of seeing the penguins and monkeys at the Central Park Zoo.

     "Okay the zoo it is," he said with a chuckle.

     "When do we leave?" I asked eagerly.

     "Uhm," Harry pulled his phone out of his sweats pocket, checking the time. "It's two now, so in an hour." 

     "Were you going to wake me up? Or let me sleep through the flight?" I shot out of my seat and booked it into the back to start packing, as Harry laughed.

***

     The airport was different when you were with someone famous. Plans had to be made and there was security. Lots of security. The plus side was private TIA. We made it on to our flight no problem. I took a seat with a deep breath.

     "You okay?" Harry asked leaning over to look in my eyes.

     "Falling. It isn't the flying that scares me. It is the feeling of falling that I have a fear of."

     "What do you normally do to distract yourself?"

     "Music and sleep usually."

     "Sleep. Hm. Look who is talking about it now," Harry said with a chuckle.

     "Okay smartass." I leaned down to my bag under the seat and pulled out my laptop.

     "Watcha doing?" Harry asked leaning back into his chair.

     "I figured I could get some writing done," I said pulling open my blog page.

     "Here let me," Harry said pulling my laptop into his lap and began typing. After a few seconds he handed my laptop back to me and I read over what he wrote.