The Fish Song

Lost In A City

     "So what is your plan?" Christian asked as we drove. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I knew I had to see Harry. He was where I belonged. By his side. Holding his hand. Letting him love me. Letting him in to see the dirty and allowing him to love me after, if that is what he wants. God please let it be what he wants. I wanted us both to have what we wanted.

     "I'm not really sure. I still have my tickets for his shows in Washington, Oregon, and his first show in Cali. So I guess head to Washington and go from there. I'm still not sure about one thing though."

     "What is that?" He asked as he sped down the dirt back roads towards DIA.

     "I didn't tell you but I went to the show last night." Christians eyes grew wide as he took his eyes off the road for the first time.

     "You were?"

     "Yeah and he started to sing the covers and something deep down told me he was singing them to me. So I got up and ran."

     "If you thought he was singing to you why did you run?" He asked, moving his eyes back forward.

     "No, I ran towards him. I got backstage just to find a girl in his room. So I left."

     "You found Nicole in his green room?" It was my turn for my eyes to widen.

     "How did you know?"

     "Harry had George bring Gabby and I backstage after the show. Harry was just as surprised to see her there as you were. He told her she needed to leave." My jaw dropped. I was so dumb. I should have just stayed. I should have realized that he hadn't moved on with her.

     "She stunk," I let slip out of my mouth and Christian began to laugh.

     "She what?"

     "She smelt bad. It made me physically sick. You didn't smell it?"

     "No," he said, continuing to laugh. My stomach turned just from the memory of the smell.

***

Harry's POV

     Nine days. That was how long it had been since I was in Colorado. Nine days with still no word from DJ. I wondered if she got my letter or if she got it and just didn't feel the same way about me. I was hoping for the first option. If she didn't get the letter yet then at least I could continue to pretend that she might come back to me.

    "Cabin crew, please take your seats for landing," I heard the pilot speak throughout the plane. I was back in California for the next few days just to go to Arizona and then back here again. I had just played Washington, Oregon and Vancouver, the whole time, thinking of DJ. The days all dragged on and bled together. Where I used to enjoy each time I performed and loved seeing the crowd, I now couldn't even remember one night from the other. Since DJ left nothing had been the same. What I enjoyed doing just seemed pointless. I loved each and every fan and their support but it wasn't the same without DJ.

     I don't know why I waited a week. I should have called her. As much as I wanted to believe she didn't get the letter, I knew after my talk with Christian, that he would have made sure she got it. As the plane started its descent I began to replay our conversation in my head.

  

     "I'm Harry," I said, reaching out to DJ's brother once we entered the room.

     "Christian," he said, grabbing my hand with a firm shake. "Thank you so much for tonight. I don't think Gabby has ever been happier." I smiled looking down at Gabby, her smile stretched from ear to ear.