Driver (Sebastian Vettel) - ON HOLD

33.0 - Struggles

The car was stiff today, something felt off as I drove out of the pitlane. I weaved the car on the track trying to get some heat into the tyres. I breathed in deeply as I moved the car around. My throat hurt badly due to the breath I had taken. "Struggling," I managed to breathe the word out into the microphone. When there was no reply, I spoke again even though it hurt, "Thierry?"

My hands were tight on the wheel when I realised I was alone again in the car. It was the same as two weeks back when my headset didn't work. "Thierry," I repeated his name again in case he could hear me. "Something is not right," I managed to get the words out as I moved the car around the track. 

My throat began to hurt, really scratch, I guessed it was due to the fact I had my balaclava on just covering my mouth. Reaching for my helmet, I took my eyes off the road for a second, I was not comfortable. Looking back at the track, I controlled my car on the straight as I swallowed hard. It was difficult not to swallow hard as my throat hurt so much. 

"If you can hear me," I panicked as I felt my body shaking. "I am going to have to..." I felt the brakes go, my hands were struggling to control the steering wheel as it just seemed to drive where it wanted to go. "Shit," I spoke the loudest I had since seeing my sister. 

The barrier was going at me fast, I could not turn the wheel to turn the corner. I held the wheel tightly doing my best to turn the wheel but I had no luck. I had no choice, I closed my eyes just as the car when nose-first into the barrier. The car came to a grinding halt, the car crumpling up as my head flew forward slamming into my steering wheel. 

Opening my eyes, I stared forward as I felt my throat scratching, almost like it was tightening. I reached for my neck, my hands pulling back the turtle neck trying to help myself. I wanted to scream, I wanted to let people know that I didn't feel okay. 

There was no sound in my headphones, I turned my neck slightly only to get pain shooting down my spine. "Fuck," I started to worry even more as I knew I couldn't just climb out now. 

There were sounds from the crowd, there was a strange smell in the air. Something was definitely wrong right now, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. 

It seemed like forever, I felt a hot heat along with a strong smell of burning. 

My hands gripped the sides as I hoisted myself up, my neck was killing as I stumbled over the halo and fell to the ground, my hands stopping my head from another injury. I turned onto my back as I reached for my helmet straps trying to undo them. 

"Megan," I heard my voice being said. 

"Megan, we have to move you," someone else said before she felt hands on her shoulders dragging her over the ground away from the heat source. A man came into my view, I stared up at him. "We have an ambulance on the way," he told me as I stared up at the sky. 

I hated this, this was something I thought would happen to me and now I was staring up at the sky, worried that this was it for me. I felt tears streaming from my eyes as I felt my throat scratching more. 

"We have your team on the radio," the man told me as he held the radio in front of me. 

Taking it from him, he stepped away giving me a moment to myself. "Hello?" I breathed, the word barely there. 

"Megan?" The voice was not who I expected, it was Sebastian. "Are you okay?"

"No," I closed my eyes blocking out the bright sun. "No," I cried to myself as I placed the radio down ignoring any further calls over the radio. 

XOXOX

At the hospital, I was sent off for a scan straight away. I had not stopped crying even when my helmet was removed along with the balaclava. I was weak and I knew it. The tears burned my eyes, the breathing clawed at my throat. When I was returned to the bed after my scan, I laid there, boards around me keeping me straight until my results came back. 

I knew what happened on the track if someone got injured. The session would be suspended for a while, hopefully not too long though, not today. 

"Megan," I heard the door open and the voice of Lewis. I listened as his footsteps approached me, "Megan?"

When he came into my view, I looked at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked him as I stared up at him. 

"I'm your next of kin," he reminded me that I had not changed the name on my paperwork. "Have you received your results yet?"

"Not yet," I told him as I looked up at the ceiling. "I've had my test," I informed him before I looked back at him. "You have to leave, Lewis. I don't want you here." Telling him to go was hard, hard on my voice, hard on my ego.

The look on his face changed, he thought he was going to come here and it would all be okay. It would never be okay again. We would never be friends again, not like before. 

He sighed, "You know where I am if you change your mind." I couldn't watch as he left but I heard his shoes leaving. 

Some time passed before I heard the door open again. "Miss Moore," it was a doctor. "We have visitors here for you, I have stopped them until I give you your results." He came into my view, I watched him waiting to see what he had to say. "Luckily, you have not damaged your neck permanently, you have whiplash." He removed the boards from either side of my head as he spoke, "I do have some more concerns about your neck and throat though." 

I nodded slightly as I moved my head from side to side trying to get some feeling back even if it caused me pain. "Me too," the words were a whisper. 

"I am going to give you some exercises to do, hopefully, we can help get your voice back to normal." The doctor moved the bed adjusting it so I was sitting up in the bed. "I'm going to let your visitors in now," he told me with a smile. 

"Thank you," I said as he left.