42. A Heart-to-heart

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The door behind Leah closes, and I continue staring at nothing in particular, unable to move a single muscle of my suddenly useless body

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The door behind Leah closes, and I continue staring at nothing in particular, unable to move a single muscle of my suddenly useless body. I feel foggy-headed, except I am not drunk. I am very much aware of what has just happened.

She asked me if I loved her, and the question made me freeze and then behave like an asshole. I needed time to process her words and think of an answer. I fucked up instead, just like I knew I would.

My first instinct is to call Mac, but then I remember he is taking Annie out tonight to celebrate the end of her exams. Pops gave me the afternoon off, and spending it with the only person I want to spend it with isn't an option anymore because I hurt her. My childish reaction hurt her, and I would have gone to her and begged her to forgive me if I had something better to offer. I don't.

I grab my phone and search for the name I need. He picks up immediately like I know he would.

"Hey, Jim," I say, clearing my throat. "Are you busy?"

"Never busy for you. What's up? Are you okay?"

I hear the concern in my brother's voice and rush to reassure him, "Yeah, I just need to talk to someone."

"In person?"

"Ideally, yeah."

"'Kay," Jim says. "Are you gonna ride here, or do you want me to send the chauffeur?"

"The chauffeur? Since when-," I start asking, but then decide it's not the time to do it.

"I'll ride. See you in a couple of hours."

"Don't speed up, little fucker. I'll be at my condo. You know how to let yourself in."

We hang up, and I leave my house in no time, glancing at Leah's window as I get on my bike. My stomach roils the entire time I'm riding down the highway, and I only feel calmer when I'm in front of my brother's building.

I punch in the code for his garage and park my Fat Boy next to Jim's car before taking the elevator to his floor.

My shoes squeak on the marble as I stroll to the wooden door and press on the doorbell. I have the key, but using it feels like an invasion of Jim's privacy.

The door swings open, and my big brother is standing on the other side of it, dressed in some jeans and a white tee. Jim's hair looks slightly rumpled as if he'd been raking his fingers through it before I arrived.

We hug, and my brother motions for me to follow him to the kitchen.

Jim grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and calls someone.

"Dec, I'll be heading out in five," I hear Jim say. Then, he hangs up and grabs a jacket from one of the chairs.

"Come on, little fucker."

I follow my brother out of the building. A car is parked at the entrance, and as we get in, I see the driver. The guy must be in his late thirties. He swivels his head around and smiles at us. "Where to?"

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