Comeback *Book One*

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I spend most of the night in my room. My eyes sting from crying so much. I feel like I will start to cry again, but tears just don't find their way out of my eyes. I lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling fan. Honestly, I don't want to leave the room yet. I don't feel like talking to Dee or Mom when she gets back. Around two hours ago I heard Mom leave and say that she would be back with my stuff and some Chinese food for dinner. Most nights I love the taste of greasy veggie eggs rolls, wontons, and sticky rice. Tonight, though, my stomach felt hollow. It felt like I couldn't put any food inside or I would explode.

I know that tomorrow morning I would be waking up early with Dee. I know I would help her around the farm before retraining Beau and finishing my day with a physical therapy lesson at the doctors.

I try to close my eyes and sleep, but I cant. So much is on my mind right now. So much that I can't even comprehend. Honestly, I have no interest in going to the barn tomorrow, in fear of seeing GiGi or Jill. I can't bear going into public. People's eyes burn into me. I am interrupted in thought by a knock on the door. Dee and mom walk in and set my bags on the ground. They tell me my dinner is on the table and that they are going back to my house for more bags. I highly doubt that they are going back home. I'm sure they probably want to leave the house and the awkward presence of me. Or give me some time to myself. Either one is fine.

I listen for the front door to close before slowly reaching for my crutches and stand up. Soon, I hopefully would be able to walk around with no crutches, thanks to my physical therapy. I decide to take some time and walk around the large room that I would be spending the next few months of my life in. It is fairly large, with a walk in closet and a private bath. The wall color is a warm chocolate brown and it makes the dark hardwood floors look even more beautiful. On the walls hang framed photos of Dee and Mackenzie. Photos of Dee leaping over towering stadium jumps, galloping through the water jump, and elegantly preforming dressage moves make me feel almost as if I was there when the photos were taken. Obviously, I wasnt. These photos have to be at least twenty or twenty five years old. Photos of Mackenzie at a gymnasium vaulting, on the beam, and on the bar surprise me. I didn't know that she did gymnastics.Even though I have not seen Mackenzie in a few years, the photos look old. Mackenzie looks about thirteen in most of them.

Hm. I think for a minute before grabbing my phone and I called Mom. Through the few words I spoke to her, I found out that she and Dee went out to dinner and are going shopping. They will most likely be out for a few hours. I really want to do something, but I dont know if I have the nerve to.

At five o'clock I stand up and throw away my dinner garbage. I ate. Wayy to much. After grabbing my phone and pulling on my pair of paddock boots, I head outside to the barn. What the hell!? I punch Dee's garage code (It is 9646) and the garage squeaks open. The large garage holds Dee's truck, Jeep, and her golf cart. I slowly guide my way through the garage to the golf cart and climb in. I set my phone in the cup holder and take the keys out of the empty cup holder. After a few attempts of starting the engine, the cart finally gerks to life. I find using my prosthesis on the stop and start pedals really easy, which I am happy about.

I park the golf cart in the small parking space before climbing out. I push open the sliding door to find the aisles deserted. The horses are all greedily snatching up flakes of hay and grain. The aisles are all swept and everything looks at peace. A few birds tweet happily bak and forth high above the horses. I am happy that nobody is here right now. I don't feel like being glared at while I *gulp* attempt to ride. Well, with somebody's help. Somebody that I would usually never ask for help.

"Hello?" GiGi's high voice says over the phone. 

Gulp. "Hi, GiGi. I want to try and ride. I need your help." Not quite how I wated to put it, but honestly, I don't care. 

"Of course, Ali. Be over in ten." GiGi lives only a few minutes down the road.

I trace my finger across the golden nameplate in front of Beau's stall. Or shall I say, old stall. Beau's old stall is untouched, being only stall in the barn without a horse occupying it. His Likit banana treat bar still hangs from the window bar. The only thing different is the haynet has no hay in it and the stall is stripped of shavings. Sadness takes over me and I finally tear my eyes away from the stall just as Gigi walks into the barn. She sees me by his stall, and her slight smile turns into a pitiful frown.

"I think that you should ride Buttercup. She will be a nice restart horse." Buttercup is a eighteen year old palomino quarter horse mare. She is a lesson horse for the beginner riders and will do anything you say. I have only ridden her once before, but she is super sweet.

GiGi's continues to talk to me but her attention is not on me. I nod but I know that she cant see me. What is she starting at? I turn behind me to see what she is looking at. My mouth literally falls to my feet. Oh. My. GOD!