Happily Caged

Is He The One?!

Lia's Pov:

I tossed and turned in my bed unable to sleep. I feared how Sam would react on knowing about Nandhini. But I have made up my mind to tell him tomorrow after the performance. I don't wanna spoil his mood before his performance. It's his first performance on stage I don't want it to be spoiled at any cost.

As sleep was far from me, I decided to do something for the first time; to think about my dream boy. I laughed at myself for not having one yet. I jumped off my bed and sat on my study table with Tiya (my personal diary) wide open in front of me. I turned on my table lamp so that I could write down what I wanted.

I started writing something that every girl wants. I started with kind, romantic, caring and struck at the point. I thought for something more specific of what I needed. I needed a person who trusts me completely. We shouldn't have secrets within us. He should be the first one I run to whenever I am sad or happy. He should understand me without a word from me, no explanations needed for us to understand each other's feelings. We should be comfortable to be our true selves; no faking; no judgements. We should know each other completely like no one else does. We should be so close that even a day away from him should feel like a year. He should know my wavering moods and know how to handle them at ease. Moreover, we should never let the spark between us fade. He should make me feel loved, even when I hate myself. He should be the one constant person who will never leave me at any cost, who I can blindly trust and rely on without judgements.

The one who loves dogs as much as I do, the one who I would have a long heart to heart talk, gazing at the immense beauty of moon and stars, who would be ready for my sudden long night drives, who would sing for me, with whom I could share and talk about my favourite lines from my favourite books, the one whom I would remember when I listen to my favourite songs, the one whose name would bring an immediate blush on my face, who would praise even the shittiest dish I make, who would be always ready for my trail makeover sessions, the shoulders in which I would crash on after my terrific day, the only hand I should hold during the long walk by the riverbank, who loves and cares for my parents as much as I do, the one who supports and encourages me in whatever I do.

"Wow", I smiled, surprised. I never knew I had such huge expectations. These romantic novels had definitely made my expectations so high. I smiled at the pleasant feeling that has spread all over my heart. I liked the pleasant ache while thinking about it. I wanted the feel to continue. I wondered how mesmerizing being loved would feel like.

I reread the points I have written while some things strange hit me hard in my mind. 'Am I writing all that Sam is?' My head almost rotated. I supported my head with my hand and reread it. If I could personify my expectations to a person, it's Sam. And finally, I realized that he was all that I wanted. My every wish, my every expectations are him. He was the one; my dream boy. My heartbeat so fast, loud enough for me to hear it.

I have always brushed off the fact that I was falling for him. I have recently caught myself staring at him, blushing at his photos. I always wanted him to be around me, his presence was all I wanted. I missed him when I was in the class. I would wait desperately for a free time for me to sneak out and meet him in his class or somewhere we would always meet. I started feeling that he was mine but I always neglected the feel. I don't want to think much about it as I liked the way I felt about him. I don't want to spoil the feel by thinking what it is. I wanted him to like me back like I liked him. That was the first reason for me to find Nandhini. I wanted to show him that I could go to any extent to make him happy.

The thought of Nandhini made my stomach flush hot. I hit my head so hard and slapped myself numerous times until it hurts me.

"What am I doing?", I shouted pretty loud.