Fine Lines Between Heaven And Hell

Chapter Twenty Four

**Dean's POV**

I squeezed my eyes shut hoping that when I opened them, I would be somewhere else but it did not work. When I reopened my eyes I still saw Kevin, or what was left of him. His eyes were burned out of his skull, the work of the angel that was inside of Sam. I had hoped to never have to see this sight again. I had been haunted of this image every time I closed my eyes for months. Kevin was like family to me and of corse he died because of me. Everyone dies because of me. I took a deep breath but it was shaky and shallow. I felt my throat begin to clench up. I dropped my head, no longer able to look at him. Footsteps echoed in the bunker, getting louder as they got closer. I lifted my head and scrambled to my feet. My hand instinctively grasped the angel blade that was in my back pocket.
"You did this to him," Gadreel laughed, the sound filling me ears and his words repeating in my head.
"You were the one to let me into little Sammy's body. If it weren't for you, your little prophet would still be alive."
I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. He was saying nothing that I hadn't already said to myself. I take responsibility for his death. His blood was on my hands and that can never be washed off. I released my grip on the blade, dropping it to the ground. I throw both my hands in the air.
"You're right." I said defeated.
He gulped, clearly not expecting that to happen.
"There isn't anything that you can tell me that I haven't already said to myself." My said, my voice cracking.
Gadreel walked closer, circling around me like I was his next prey. He had a mocking smile on his face which angered me. He found amusement in this. Angels really were dicks. He bent down and picked up the blade on the ground beside me.
"Just taking security measures." He said as he tucked it away. "I've heard about you, Dean. The things you've done, the innocent people you've killed. I know you try to justify your behavior because of the mark but is that the real reason that Dean Winchester has fallen off the deep end. Or is it because he is finally realizing that the heroic front that he puts up is fake. You are the real monster, stop trying to tell yourself that you are the good guy."
I felt anger bubbling inside of me but I attempted to keep my cool exterior. I could not show his effect on me, it would only fuel him. I focused on taking on deep breaths and trying to not let my arm shake. Soon, I didn't feel angry anymore, or not as angry. The anger never fully disappeared. The scenery of the bunker disappeared but I wouldn't be able to get the vision of Kevin out of my head for awhile.
"You were able to get yourself under control, nice job." Chucks voice filled the room but he was not visible to me.
I sat down, the only thing on my mind was how much I wanted to down a whole bottle of whiskey.