Check my pulse,
And wonder why so suddenly,
It pounds in anger,
I meant it when I said,
I want to get well,
But the flash fire temper,
Flames,
As I try to get it out of my system,
Tell them I ain't living like this,
And mean it when I say I wanna get well,
And there for a second, I think I am,
When a flash blinds my vision,
And the first thing to my head,
Is my addiction,
And I ain't talking cigarettes,
The one that still tangles my thoughts,
And makes me happy I never had the strength to toss the blade,
And yet having it is just enough,
Because lately, I haven't been weak enough to pull it out,
There it hides in the back of the drawer,
Like it does the back of my head,
I haven't run three months to,
Take myself down again.
And that demand,
That demon,
Drags me down,
And turns the months into mere moments,
Like it's worth tossing it away,
And the scars on my arms long for another friend,
Or maybe even more of the same,
Hold my breath and hope they all die,
And fade on,
Keep hushed,
Take tape to the mouth,
Knowing I won't pick it up,
So what's the worth of telling someone,
Who will only think I'm that far,
How my arms itch and crave for more,
And the heat of the day reminds me I could never hide it long enough to scar,
Hold my breath,
And wonder the worth of such a scar.
Have I?
Haven't I had enough?
There it was,
Like a rose made of glass,
And I picked it up,
And that's how I first got cut,
Fragile little thing,
That's what did me in,
And I'm still tangled up in it's worth.
-Joshua Banks JJAJ
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When Sanity is Lost
ПоэзияAnd I just couldn't stop, before I knew it I was picking the pen up again. My second book in process this is soon to begin editing once my last one is done. As always hope you enjoy and find my insta @these.are.true.feelings
