When Sanity is Lost

209

Don't know why
But I can't seem to give enough compassion back,
Don't you know,
I've always been quiet about things like that,
Sick and tired of being tried like this,
I am apparently the man that you just can't stand,
Can't wipe the taste of venom off my tongue,
Do I have to sink?
Why can't I scream at the top of my lungs,
And not care about the ending,
I might as well burn it hot,
Even when you know,
I'll wear it out of me,
Always wanted to take my time with this sort of thing,
Cannot stand to keep swallowing the venom,
To burn my throat,
You once told me you wanted to go back to normal,
But my only thought was that it's never been normal,
I hate how much sting is contained in my bite,
Must I keep on crying,
The venom watering my eyes,
Turning on myself when I swallow it,
Can't you see I'm the one dying because of this,
I hate that they can't just see it,
Much like I do,
Take your words,
And swallow them yourself,
Because I'm already dying with staying silent,
I don't need you're disapproval killing me too,
Hate to admit it to you myself,
Don't you understand what care I take to be careful?

Let's take a moment and change the subject,
Can help and keep remembering that one scenario,
That keeps running through my head,
"He's my boyfriend"
Said from a different point of view,
Just might be a simple thing to do,
But now it's changed,
Used to seem like that day was gonna be a good one,
But now it just might end up a big huge mess,
The other point of view,
Intending no harm,
And this is the moment I hate you,
Don't you understand,
You're done that for me,
Bring me so freaking low,
That I couldn't ever do it myself,
I can barely it even remember what it was like,
To be so sure about it anymore,
Because how your words make  feel like I'm so wrong,
And I'm invisible, I can't talk,
And I can barely breathe,
Drag me down,
I fell as if the worth was measured in hight,
I won't ever stand up to a grain of sand.

Why am I so stuck on this,
Can't I just forget this,
I just wanna move on,
Get on with my life,
Will, you just stop hurting me like this so much,
You don't have to do a thing different,
Just don't point it out,
And stab me in the throat with it,
If I had the right people around,
I'd snatch it back,
And slit yours with it,
And leave you there for dead,
Like they once did like an enemy of war,
Knowing this whole time it was a fight,
Something you didn't want to hear,
And not once did I hunt you down like some predator,
And you backed me into this corner,
Did you not expect to break me down,
With painful word after word,
And not expect me to tolerate it forever long?
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Find my Twitter at @banks_ua
-Joshua Banks