How To NOT Be Straight✓

1: All-White, You're Not Invited

Sometimes I wish I was a chicken.

Now, hear me out; you don't have to do anything but eat, fuck any chicken you want, produce eggs worth either baby chicks or food, and eventually get eaten. It's way more simpler than being a human being- female, to be specific- hiding in the closet scared of what your freaking overly religious family would say. So much better than that.

The church has never felt more livelier than it has today, probably because it was special Sunday and we had holy communion soon after the preaching was done.

I would be too, had I known that today everyone was supposed to wear white.

My parents had always made a statement to leave before church began(15 minutes to be exact) and whoever wasn't ready by 7:30 would go to the church on their own. Today, I was the very first example of that; my fricking alarm was set for 7:45.

Bustling out the bed and picking out a random dress, I rushed out without even having breakfast. I made my way to the church service, and you can imagine the horror on people's faces when I was donning a blood red dress instead of looking like an angel that just fell from heaven.

Maybe I was the one who betrayed Jesus, not Judas. Cause the way I was looking, I could be auditioning for Satan's twin sister and no one would ever know.

The service was over in a flash(thank God, those stares were overwhelming) and we were soon socializing with people. Blake, my long-time best friend, who I may or may not have had a crush on since we probably met, made her way to me. When she reached me, she looked me up and down, then sighed. She was wearing a white pencil skirt and a cream blouse, her blonde hair tied into a loose ponytail with a flower crown to support the look. She looked like a literal angel, while I on the other hand looked like I came straight out of a slasher movie with my whole outfit being doused in blood.

"If you wanted to be the odd one out you should've told me first." She said, poking me. "Everyone was staring at you."

I pat myself on the shoulder. "I mean yeah, I'm the life of the party you know. It's not everyday you see a fashionable hun."

"You got here late."

"Better late than never." I winked.

"And you look like the devil's bride," She added.

"Well, I mean the religion already said I'm going to hell, didn't they?" I shrugged. "Might as well marry Satan himself."

"Cameron," She sighed, grabbing my arm and leading me out of the church and out of the gates. "Your parents are going to be furious. Your dad was preaching today!"

"How was it? Good? Bad? In the middle?" I asked her, not paying much attention as we walked down the streets. "What did he talk about today? The resurrection of Jesus Christ? How he died on the cross for our sins? Corinthians? Or did he just have a boring speech again?"

She stopped in her tracks. "You know damn well he talked about him dying on the cross for our sins, Cam. Stop joking about this for once," She continued walking, and I followed her.

"Okay, okay, I took it too far, Blake. I'm sorry," I apologized, keeping my eyes on the path. "So, we're still matching when we go back to school in a week?"

"Of course we are." Blake nodded, and we stopped by the usual ice cream parlor we normally go to after a long church service. "Same order?"

"I didn't bring any cash-"

"I know." She took out some cash. "You looked perplexed when you entered so I just figured you'd need something to cool off."

"Fuck, September has never been so hot," I sighed taking the strawberry milkshake that the cashier gave me. "You ready for our final year girl?"

"Not really."

"What, why?"

"Rumor has it that-"

"Wait! Let me stop you right there." I was fascinated with how fast rumors went around the small town of Willowvale, and how it practically ruled our town and our school. "Is it the same one I heard about a new family moving in?"

Blake nodded. "Yeah. A family of 5, 3 kids. They moved in somewhere near your neighborhood, I don't know where-"

"Don't tell me it's the vacant house next door that they moved into?" I frowned, sipping the milkshake. "Cause if it is, I'm not ready to go and induct some poor humans into the cult- I mean, church."

Blake gave me a glare. "Now I wonder what your dad would say if he heard you talk like this."

"He'd give me another boring ass lecture." I shrugged, finishing the milkshake I ordered. "To be honest, I'm not ready to go back either."

"Why's that?"

"Because people still think I'm faking it," I mumbled. "Why would they really think I'd fake a whole ass sexual orientation?"

"I don't know, because you're capable of doing way worse?" She asked. "Don't worry, they probably forgot about it by now."

"Right, like those douchebags Mike and Daniel forgot about shit," I scoffed, waving her off. "Another year, another problem."

"Hey, it's our last year though." She smiled, getting up while I did the same. "Let's just try and enjoy it, okay? You never know what's in store for us."

"Besides another fucking heatwave in Aussie? Yeah, you never know." I muttered. "Walking me home today?"

She shook her head as we exited the shop. "Nope. Mom's making lasagna tonight and I wouldn't want to be late."

"It's only 2:30."

"Just finding an excuse to ditch you for the day." I rolled my eyes at her. "And by the way, don't worry about the whole school thing and about people freaking out about you being lesbian, it doesn't matter!"

She waved off and went the opposite direction while I just stood there, staring as she disappeared into a corner.

"Right," I reassured myself. "It doesn't matter."

***

By the time I reached my house, I was livid. There were moving trucks everywhere, and I cursed silently, realizing what just happened.

The new family is here.

I stared at the truck for a few more seconds, until a pretty girl came out. She was dark skinned and was wearing a tight vest and sweatpants. She was carrying a skateboard, and managed to catch my gaze before minding her own business again and talking to one of the movers. I shook my head, and entered my house.

"I'm home!" I yelled, and then froze as I saw my mom and dad sitting in the lounge. "Hey?"

"Tell us why you got to church late and missed your dad's word? Also, why wear red?" Mom asked me, and I smiled shyly.

"Well you see mother, sometimes, our alarm clocks don't go off, and other times, our alarm is a little too late. In my case today, it was late. As for the dress, I kinda forgot we were supposed to wear white," I explained. "I'm sorry, dad. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"You can by giving our lovely new neighbors a cake to welcome them in," Mom suggested. "Dad will lecture you later."

"But-"

"It's on the table, and you'll give it to them tonight when they've settled in. Now do me a favor, and change out of that dress and into some normal clothes," Dad ordered.

I gave him a smirk. "Oh, so you do admit that church clothes aren't normal?"

"Leave."