How To NOT Be Straight✓

6: Rule 2: Make Sure You Look Normal Though

Had I known that Alexis and her family would come right before mom even finished making dinner, I would've pitched in to help.

Now I'm here talking to people I don't give a shit about. Well, maybe Alexis.

Her brothers are outside while mom and Alexis's mom are making dinner. It's currently 5PM, meaning that it's still a little light out there, and they can still play. Mr Samson and my dad are talking to each other (probably about the bible or some shit like that) downstairs, and Alexis is staring at the poster once again. I  walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Rule 2 seems a little off," She muttered. "What do you mean look normal?"

I laughed, and rubbed her back. "Well, my dear friend. There's this stigma that certain people have about us LGBT people. Some think that if you're a lesbian, you're supposed to be wearing shorts and tees everyday while also having a buzz cut. Some say that you even have to play basketball or something, which is pretty off to me." I shrugged. "I mean there are queers that do have different traits, but assuming that's what all lesbians are like? That's petty. So, to reinforce rule 1, you gotta look natural doing it."

She smiled. "Oh, and you look natural?"

"Oh darling, I'm a natural." I laughed again. "I mean, I dont necessarily fit into any stereotypical girl, but I do know that I'm so fucking natural and passionate about everything I do." I walked to the bed to sit down. "I mean that's what you need in this world right? Passion."

"I find it odd how you can be inspirational at times, maybe you really should be a pastor or something."

"I don't think so. Maybe one day, when I'm older," I sighed, placing a hand on my cheek. "I can speak to a bunch of homophobic douchebags and tell them why they shouldn't hate us or disgust us because we're human beings."

"I'd be on the sidelines watching you." She walked over to the bed slowly. "Then after I'd give you points for your next presentation, like maybe tell them that who you like doesn't affect you as a person, you know?"

I stood up and faced her. "Then the next time we'd get on the stage together." I put an arm around her and turned her around, facing an imaginary audience. "And for fuck's sake, demonstrate how to treat a homosexual couple."

"We'd twirl around the stage and do a little dip." She twirled me around and dipped me. "And even kiss to show them it's normal."

She pulled me back up, and we laughed, still holding each other. She let go of me and I gave her a high five.

"You know what kid, I like you." I pat her back. "You're going to do wonders with the great Cameron by your side."

She bowed. "Oh, Cameron, show me thy ways."

I pretended to knight her. "Why yes, Alexis, you have proven yourself worthy to be in the palace of gods." I helped her get up. "You, Alexis Samson, will be my trustee."

"I take this with great pleasure, Queen Cam."

Before we could continue, I heard my mother call us downstairs. She frowned, but to keep the spirit alive, I put my arm in front of her to stop her movement.

"Wait!" I said. "That name? Queen Cam? Yeah, I like it, makes me feel relevant." I blew a kiss at her, and we both went down the stairs, hand in hand.

***

"Mrs Jones, your cooking is impeccable," Jaden, Alexis's little brother said before picking up another drumstick. "Absolutely top tier."

"It's probably better than anything we eat at home," Alexis joked, and I choked on my water a bit.

"Lexi." Mrs Samson frowned.

"I'm kidding mom, don't worry," She apologized, and the silence returned.

"So, Alexis, how's the new school treating you? Is everything okay there?" My dad asked her, his eyes inconspicuously looking at Alexis and I interchangeably.

"It's alright."

"So Cam is also making you feel comfortable?"

"Oh, definitely. Cam..." She looked at me, as if trying to find the words. "Cam was actually a great help on the first day. She showed me around, and even asked me to sit with her at lunch. She's awesome."

I almost snorted at that, but continued to eat my rice. She stepped on my foot, and I stopped eating momentarily, looking at her as she smiled. She smiled a little harder when she cast me a look, and I played along, smiling as well.

"I mean, of course I was going to help her. I know how hard it is being a newbie in town, especially at Plata." I smiled, kicking her foot off of mine. "I took it upon me to be the good samaritan. Ha! Get it?"

Alexis's parents laughed, while mine gave me a small chuckle.

"I'm glad you were my samaritan." Alexis smiled at me. "Maybe next time I'll be able to return the favor." I winked at her, and my dad cleared his throat.

"So I see you two are getting along well," He said.

Here the fuck we go.

"Yeah, she has this vibe that's just fun and immaculate," Alexis complimented. "She's actually a cool person."

"Really?" My dad and I said at the same time.

She nodded. "You know, at first I thought she was going to be a stuck up pastor's kid. But when I got to know a bit more, I realized she wasn't that at all."

"You got that right," I muttered.

"Oh? So you find her standoffish behavior funny?" Dad remarked.

"I mean, I wouldn't call it standoffish sir. She's not like that, she's probably–"

"Don't worry Alex, I'm not the standardized pastor's kid who recites bible verses every second of their lives. I'm not like the quiet kid that's going to shut up when something needs to be said. I'm, you know, a kid that likes speaking her mind, standing up for what's right, and going against social stigmas. Like, being a conservative Chri–"

"Cameron, that's enough honey," Mom interrupted me as my dad and I stared daggers at each other. "Let's just have a good night, right?"

We all returned to our meals, but with the last glance that my dad gave me, I fucking knew I was in for it tonight.

***

As we showed the Samsons out, Alexis pulled me aside briefly.

"You really don't give a fuck, do you?" She uttered, and I shrugged.

"You'll learn how much I don't give a fuck later." I hugged her, whispering. "Go to your family, I'll see you on Sunday, Lexi."

She gave me a little back rub. "Stay safe, please don't do anything stupid." We let go, and with one last gaze, she walked out the door.

I closed it and turned around, only to find my mom and dad staring at me funny. I waited for a bit, before breaking the silence.

"Well, that went well!" I smiled, skipping to the staircase and heading up the stairs to my room.

In my defense, it went better than I fucking expected.