How To NOT Be Straight✓

40: 'Support'

I paced back and forth my room, trying to string up the courage to tell my parents. I thought of every possibility of getting my point across without seeming too scared or even weird, but everything came out so wrong. The possibilities of being disowned were so high I couldn't even reach the height of disappointment I know they may feel.

Dinner had just passed, and I was almost done with my project. After putting the extra detail on the angel, I decided to rest. At this point, painting is the only thing keeping me sane. When I paint, I feel so free; free to express myself however I want without being judged, and letting my art speak for me. While others seek attention through their actions and words, I rather let the art vocalize my thoughts.

Sighing, I put my hair into a weak ponytail, and grabbed my jacket. I walked out my room and down the stairs, into the kitchen, where my mom and dad where.

"And I'm telling you, Jason, he was like, 'I'm going to rob you'. So I told him to back off because whatever the Lord takes he will reple-" Mom stopped as soon as she saw me, "Cameron! Would you like some tea baby?"

"No thanks, mom." I muttered, putting on the jacket, "I'd like to talk to you 2 about something."

Dad put down the newspaper, "What is it? Is it school related?"

"Kinda." I shrugged, taking in a deep breath, "Listen, by now I'm sure you know everyone at school is probably dating or crushing on someone. Like most of the girls in my school have a boyfriend."

My father picked up his glass of water, "Go on, Cameron."

"And like, I'm not interested in any of that. Like, I don't like boys." I said quietly, and my dad put down his glass and grinned.

"Oh thank God. I didn't want you to start dating players, so you just saved me the work of having to-"

"Because I am not attracted to boys." I finished, watching my dad's grin fall, "I'm attracted to females...not boys, dad."

He looked at mom, who was shell shocked, "Jenna?"

"Cameron honey, are you...are you sure?" Mom asked me, and I nodded.

"The slurs that Blake wrote weren't just racist...they were homophobic too." I explained, "I...I wanted to tell you guys because I believe that we shouldn't have secrets between each other and-"

"Get out of my house." Dad suddenly said, voice strong.

A lump rose in my throat, "What?"

"You heard me." He looked me in the eyes, "I didn't raise a lesbian."

"Are you serious, dad?" I stared at him in disbelief, "Are you seriously kicking me out?"

"Yes, until you become my daughter, you know, the Christian one, I'll not be accommodating you in this household."

"Mom?" I whispered, looking at her for support.

She didn't say anything, and my dad spoke for her, "That's not your mother."

"She is!" I cried, "And you're my father-"

"I'm the father of Jameela Jones and Cameron Jones, my 2 beautiful Christian daughters that believe in God with their entire body." He said in monotone, "You? I don't know you."

"Dad, stop playing around!" I screamed, "I'm Cameron-"

"My daughter will never be gay, you hear me? You spirit of darkness, get out of her in the name of-"

"Dad, it's not a fucking spirit, I like girls and I'm not ashamed of it!" I yelled out, watching as he stood up, "What's wrong with you?!"

"So you think you can disrespect me and the Lord in this household? Is that what you think?" He started while I took a few steps back, "You think you can throw that abomination in my face and think I'll accept it?"

"Dad-"

"Don't call me that, goddamnit!" He snapped, slamming his hand on the counter.

"Jason, please." My mother pleaded with him.

"Cameron Joanne Jones, we are going to pray for you right now. I've tolerated enough of your issues, such as not wearing proper church attire and cursing at dinner tables with respected guests, but this? This I shall not tolerate. Hold my hand and let's pray."

"No, leave me alone." I began to cry, "This isn't a fucking demon, dad. It's who I am; and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Everything is wrong with that."

"Dad, are you going to accept me as I am? That's all I'm asking you to do." I sniffled, "You seriously can't be doing this to me. It isn't funny."

"Cameron, I've tried to be kind and understanding, but now I'm giving you an option." He sighed, "You either take my hand in prayer, or you can show yourself out."

"Jason, it's night, what will she do? She's only a child-"

"So you rather let her disrespect me in my house?" Dad snapped, and mom kept quiet. He turned to me, his gaze intense, "The ball is in your court, Cameron."

I wiped my tears away, "You're not going to accept me as I am?"

"This isn't you, Cameron." He reiterated, taking a step closer while I took one back.

"You're not going to accept me." I repeated, "Then I guess I'll show myself out."

"Cameron, you turn your back on me, you are never to return to this house until you've received Jesus Christ." He ordered, "Do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, Pastor Jones." I turned my back and ran up the stairs.

I took my suitcase and put everything I thought I needed with my eyes blurry. I kept on throwing clothes and shoes inside while mom tried stopping me.

"Cameron, please honey don't do this."

"Leave me alone!" I yelled, "None of you want to accept me. Why? What did I ever do to you? What?"

"Cameron, please-"

"No mom, I'm done." I took my book bag and suitcase, "I'm out of here."

I pushed past her, and rushed down the stairs with her on my heels. My dad had the front door open, and I shook my head at him.

"And you call yourself a Christian." I spat, "I hope God rewards you for this, you insensitive piece of trash."

"Psalms 1 verse 1, Cameron Joanne. You don't own the Jones name anymore." He didn't stutter as he delivered the words.

"Trust me, I don't think I want it." I walked out the door, and he slammed it, locking it as I stared at the night sky.

I sniffled, heart beating so hard out of my chest as I walked to Alexis's house with difficulty. I knocked on their door, and when it opened, Alexis appeared. She was dressed in her pyjamas and had her morning gown on, and her toothbrush in hand.

"Cameron-"

I didn't say anything, and jumped on her, wrapping my arms around her neck and let out a horrendous scream. She rubbed my back and my tears fell so hard that I could feel the blood rush up to my head. The pain was setting in, the hatred, the anguish. Alexis's touch wasn't even enough. My tears falling like a stream weren't enough either.

What I needed was love and support from my own parents, but it seems like I'll never get that.