How To NOT Be Straight✓

38: Justice Is Served...Kinda

I didn't go to school for an entire week.

I had already asked Alexis and Terry to tell my teachers in advance because I swear I needed some time to myself. After what had transpired over the entire weekend and the news of Blake being expelled really overwhelmed me. Plus, my father wasn't making anything better; you'd expect him to yell at me for embarassing him in front of the principal and probably even ground me. But he didn't, he said nothing, and wouldn't even look at me. He didn't even want us to go to church last Sunday.

You could tell he was shattered by what had happened.

I only imagined this situation when and if I ever come out. Where he'll be so broken he won't even talk to me, or where he'll just slap me. I've always dreaded the worst if I ever came out to them. I don't even think I know what my mother would say, because although she supports me, she's also a hardcore Christian.

Today it's the start of a new school week and I didn't expect any surprises. As expected, everyone would whisper when I turned the corners, and some even asked to join the club to support me. I'd nod, and move on to my class without even talking to Alexis or Terry, because I know for a fact that both knew what happened; how could they not? With Blake's crusty ass paper mouth gossiping about the situation I knew there was no way they didn't know.

As I sit in homeroom, I'm plagued with questions and unnecessary comments by other classmates; Did she get arrested? Oh my God I'm sorry Cam, did you kick her ass well? Oh no, that's so sad.

I would shrug and not speak, trying to wrap my head around the fact that the person I thought was my best friend was ready to stab me so hard in the back that the knife could've pierced my heart. It was so hard to even fathom the thought of the person you once had a crush on, the one who would come to your birthday party each and every year, the one who would hug you so hard when you'd have the smallest victory was such a backstabbing whore.

And the worst part is I'm left wondering why.

"Guys, please." I mutter as the students hover above me, "Just ask Ashley or something. I'm sure she knows everything."

As much as I hated the gossip mill around the school, it saved me at times. According to Ashley, who had visited Blake after the whole 'fight'(let's be honest here, I beat her ass so it wasn't a fight at all), Blake was planning to leave the town in June, a couple of days after we graduated. She was also supposed to do a repeat of senior year in order to write her exams and pass, while we move onto college.

So, in conclusion, justice was served...kinda.

While her leaving was a good idea, I was bothered by the fact that she was getting off the hook scot-free, even though Principal Smith assured me that she won't ever see me again. But he was afraid to even answer the question that I posed to him in the morning: if the tables were turned, what would happen to me?

Maybe he feared to answer that question because he knew the answer.

The world is a cruel place, and doesn't spare anyone. School just teaches you half of that; at Plata, you fall, you get laughed at. People take their phones out and take pictures to post online instead of helping you up. But at the same time, if you ever succeed in something, they're the same people that will brag to others about your success like, 'Oh, her? I knew her from highschool!'

Yeah, you watched my downfall with a smile on your face.

It's just the way life is; not everyone is going to be your friend, and not everyone is going to be your friend forever. NF once said that he counted on one hand the people he trusted, because everyone else was either an acquaintance, or just your 'friend' for the benefits you offer them.

When the students left me, I stood up and walked out. I walked to my locker, fearing the worst, but nothing happened when I opened the locker. Nothing but an envelope falling out of it. I picked it up, and opened it.

'Hey, you're not expecting me to write to you. I was supposed to face you, but I'm a chicken and you hate me with all your soul by now.

I'm the one who went to Principal Smith with the story and evidence. I know you already suspected me, but fuck it, at least I did. I had to be good to you at least once.

Me writing to you is corny as shit because I know that I'll probably see you again in a while. Don't listen to all the rumors, I did have a few repercussions, and got suspended for a week. So, you won't see me this week, but I know I'll see you soon.

I'm writing this letter because I know I said we won't talk about what happened until I'm ready, but we have to talk about it at some point. But before we do, I just wanted to apologize to you, Joanne. For everything, for not being the friend you needed, and for being the one that got away.

I still cared about you even when you would spit on my shoes.

Everything that Blake or Ashley reported to you about me was fake. I know me saying this today and not saying it when it first started is stupid, but I have the courage now. Now that the barbie doll is gone, I can speak up without the fear of Cameron the sidekick trying to kick my ass. Yes I called you a sidekick. Do I care? Fuck no.

Anyways, I just want you to know I'll always be there for you, whether you like it or not. But who knows, maybe you'll be able to open your arms to me, and let me finally fix things.

From your vigilante,
Roseanne.'

"Cameron?" I looked up and saw Alexis, who looked concerned.

I didn't say anything, I just stared at her. Before she could even speak, I hugged her immediately. She stayed frozen for a minute, and then her arms wrapped around my waist tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay." She whispered in my ear and I rubbed her back.

"No, but I think I'm on the path to being okay." I muttered, holding her tighter against me.