How To NOT Be Straight✓

20: Confessions of A Black Lesbian

"I'm serious, Cameron, just tell her!" Alexis urged me as I saw Blake in her cute pink outfit. "It can't be that bad."

"Right, because she's going to accept the fact that I like her as more than a friend." I sighed. "It's scary, Alexis. She's literally over there, looking like the pink princess she is, and I'm here, looking like I came back from a 24 hour Netflix marathon." I gestured to my clothes, an outfit consisting of an orange hoodie and blue jeans, "You think she's going to like me back, Alexis?"

"No, but at least you'll be able to let it out." She muttered. "Fine, you tell her during our half term break, and you tell me what happens, okay? $15 if she likes you back."

"$20 if she doesn't." I squinted my eyes. "Then we'll see."

"$20 and I'll even tell Terry that I was wrong." She confirmed. "Just approach her at least, I mean, it can't be that bad."

"I think she's straight, Alexis. What if it doesn't work out?"

"Then you'll at least get over her quicker." Alexis shrugged, a grin plastered on her face. "Go on, do it."

"But-"

Alexis gave me a shove, and I tried my hardest not to fall by walking pretentiously and stumbling towards Blake. She looked shocked, and waved her blonde hair at the guy she was talking to. She smiled at me, chewing her gum as she hugged me.

"Cammie!" She squealed, jumping up and down. "Just the person I was looking for! How do I look?" She twirled around, "Like Regina George?"

"Yeah, you do..." I hesitated. "Can I...can I talk to you?"

"Of course!" She smiled a little wider. "What's it about?"

"I wanted to..." I looked at Alexis, who gave me a thumbs up. "I wanted to invite you for a sleepover tonight-"

"I'm already there." She cooed as she linked arms with another girl. "Bye, babe." She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, leaving me frozen for a bit.

Alexis shook me back to life, "Wake up, Cameron!" She exclaimed. "I was about to slap you."

"Did she just-"

"Kiss you?" Rose said, coming towards us. "Yeah, she did. That was weird."

"I-"

"Don't tell me you like her, Jones?" Roseanne enquired. "Cause if you do, that's a bummer."

"Why?"

"Well, rumor has it that she's planning to go out with-"

"Rose!" Blake returned, giving her a hug while I watched Roseanne's face change from nonchalant to a pure look of horror. "Just the girl I was looking for! Cone over!"

"But I was about to-"

She dragged Roseanne away, leaving Alexis and I staring as they turned a corner. I looked at Alexis.

"Well, that was unexpected." I commented. "Do you know how good it feels to not have the letters in your locker? Like, it feels so good." I opened my locker, and rainbow colored confetti and glitter sprung out from it, "Nevermind."

"At least it's better than slurs." Alexis wiped the glitter from my face, "Lemme just-"

"OMG, look at Alexis and Cameron!" Some idiot hollered.

I rolled my eyes. "Fucking idiots."

"You know what Cameron? Why don't we give them something to talk about?" She smiled, putting the tissue away. "Hold my hand."

"What?"

She didn't answer and grabbed my hand. I was shocked, but that shock was wiped away with amusement as she shut my locker and walked with me to homeroom, hand in hand as people gushed at us.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I whispered as we turned a corner.

"Just trust me." She winked as we entered homeroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not seeing those self-centered pieces of shit(known as teenage students at Plata) will do me so much good, even if it's just for a week. I'm in my room, anxiously waiting for Blake to arrive. I've prepared the guest room in case she needs space after the revelation, and I made sure to buy a tub of ice cream if I get rejected. I've never been so nervous to talk to my best friend, because this is a make or break situation. There are two scenarios that could occur if I get rejected or taken in. If I get rejected, there are these scenarios;

Scenario A: it ruins our friendship and she ultimately stops talking to me altogether.

Scenario B: she'll think I'm joking and I'll play along before balling my eyes out as she sleeps.

But if I do get accepted, then there's one obvious scenario;

Scenario C: we become a couple and we live happily ever after in this shitty town.

"Knock knock bitch." Blake entered, making me straighten up my bed cover as she put her bags down, "I'm here for the night."

"I figured." I laughed, "Go ahead, sit, I have something to tell you."

"Hmm, Cameron has tea? That's interesting." She sat on the bed and I stood in front of her, watching as she tugged a blonde strand of hair behind her ear, "What's up?"

"So like, don't freak out or anything but." I put my hands together, clapping and then gestured towards myself. "I think I like you."

Blake laughed a bit. "Yeah, I like you too, Cameron."

"No like... I like you more than a friend." Her face stayed neutral and I continued, ready to let it all out. "I've liked you for a long time, and I wasn't sure if I should tell you or not because I didn't want to change anything between us. So..." I trailed off a bit, and then just let it out, "I wanted to know if you liked me or not. If you don't, it's fine, I get it."

She didn't say anything for a while, and then she stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. "Cameron, darling, you're amazing. You really are, and I do like you...just, not in that way. I'm really sorry."

"Oh." I nodded, biting my lip. "That's alright, haha."

She then hugged me again, rubbing my back. "I'm sure there's someone out there for you."

"I guess." I didn't hug her back, I just stared out the window at Alexis's covered one. "I, um, prepared the guest room for you if you want to sleep there." She pulled away and frowned.

"You don't want to sleep with me tonight?" She scanned my face, then frowning as she saw my downcast expression. "Oh, I get it. I'll just um, see myself out." She muttered, showing a small smile. "Once again, Cam, I'm sorry. But..."

"It's cool, Blake." I said slowly. "Just um, close the door when you're out."

She nodded, and picked up her bags, closing the door as she exited. I let out a long sigh, and picked up my phone, calling Alexis.

"Did it work?"

"Come to your window." I ordered.

I walked over to my window and watched as she pushed the curtain away, opening the window. She hung up and gave me a wave.

"Did it work?" She mouthed.

"You owe me $20." I didn't try to hide my voice away, and she frowned as I shut the window and closed the curtains, throwing myself onto the bed and screaming into my pillow.