How To NOT Be Straight✓

34: Cruel summer

I knocked by her door, the box in my hands threatening to slip out my fingers. I kept on shaking, and waited anxiously for her to open the door. I kept on breathing in and out and practiced what I was going to say to her.

The door opened, and Alexis was there, half head without braids and the other with braids. "Cameron! Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah I..." The words suddenly disappeared and my mind became mush. "I see you need help with undoing your hair?"

"Yeah, I'd love that so much." She smiled, then her eyes darted down to the box in my hands. "What's that?"

"Oh! Right." I mumbled. "So, I got you something and I hope you like it." My toes curled up slightly inside my sneakers. "Here."

She took the box and began to open it, stealing glances at me here and there. When the box finally opened, she gasped, pulled out the object, and then jumped out to give me a massive hug while squealing.

"Cameron!" She screamed, showering my head with kisses. "You didn't have to!"

She let go, smoothed my braids over, and looked at me earnestly. I grinned.

"I'm glad you like it." I said, rubbing my cheek slightly, and putting the imaginary kisses in my pocket for safekeeping (Jesus Christ I really like this girl, don't I?). "I thought you'd need a new speaker since your brother broke the last one."

"You absolutely didn't have to, Cam. I was going to buy another one-"

"I mean, you're like one of the closest friends I have, so it's just...being grateful." I chuckled softly. "It's the least I could do."

"You're the best Cameron. I..." She paused momentarily, and then sighed. "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you."

"You're welcome." I nodded. "Can I come in? It's getting cold."

She face palmed herself. "Right, come in, Cameron."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"And he had the audacity to take Rose as a girlfriend, can you imagine?" I told her everything that happened during the week since Blake wasn't available for any calls.

"Don't you think you're being a little too nosy? If he trusts her, then you should too." I purposely pulled her hair after that. "Fuck you."

"OMG, Alexis knows how to cuss?" I gasped, while she shook her head. "It's been a while."

"There's no need for me to curse unless a bitch decides to try me." She looked up, and I gave her a silly face as I caressed her cheeks. "Get your hands off my face."

I squished her cheeks together. "No."

"CJ." She tried threatening but it came out as a distorted sound.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." I stopped, and focused on the braid at the top of her head. "But I don't agree with you, why should I trust Roseanne? What has she done that's so honorable?"

"She's tried her best to be your friend again. I don't know what happened between you 2 that made you hate her so much." She replied. "As far as I know, she's really tried her best."

"You want to know what happened? Fine." I sighed, stopped braiding and sat on her desk. "I came out 2 years back, and guess who hurt me the most with their reaction? Her. She was so fucking rude. I remember the way she looked at me after I told her. She gave me that look which basically says 'you're joking right?'. And it made me feel insecure. And what was worse was that when the bullying and ridiculing began, you'd expect your best friend to be in your corner right?" She nodded slowly and I continued. "Exactly. She wasn't, she left and she didn't look back. So why is she coming to me like she had this heart of gold?"

"Cameron, you realize you used past tense, right?" I looked away from her and suddenly she was in my face, turning mine to face her. "It's in the past, I'm sure she really wants to make amends with you."

"Why now? After all this time? After I tried?" I asked her quietly. "I want to understand why she chose now to get back into my life."

"I can't answer that question for you, Cameron. The only one that can answer that is her." She smiled. "You need to talk to her."

"Like that's ever gonna happen." I scoffed, removing Alexis's hand softly and walking to her window. "Because she's afraid to talk about it, and I'm afraid to confront her."

"Why?"

"Because deep down I know I'm not ready for what she's going to say." I looked out the window. "I don't think I'm ready for any of it."

"You sure do have a lot of fears huh?" She asked, and I chuckled.

"More than you know." I replied, turning around and looking at her. "I mean, who doesn't? We all have something we're afraid of." I walked closer to her, "Because deep down we know there's a possibility that if you confront that fear... you'll be hurt in the end."

"I guess you're right." She took a step closer, and looked at me, eyes twinkling. "Will you ever tell me your fears?"

"Well, maybe one day." I smiled.

I wanted to kiss her right then and there, the opportunity was there. But like I've said before, I'm afraid of rejection, and I'm not even going to let it come close to me.

But at the same time I feel like she felt something too. Like she was holding back as well, like she wanted to kiss me. But that may be just a thought, right?

"Sure, one day." She cleared her throat and returned to her seat. "Help me finish my hair and I'll release you from my prison."

"Yes, sergeant." I joked, laughing and returning back to her, trying to ignore the tension growing between us.