The Missing Years - a kissing booth fan fiction

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Elle

Warm. That's the overwhelming sensation I remember feeling as I fully regained consciousness. Then a kind of numbness.... but really only in my right arm, which I thought was kind of weird. Of course, once I opened my eyes and looked down, it made perfect sense. Lee was lying in bed next to me, pressed against my right side with his head on my arm, holding my hand. I looked around then and saw that I was not in my own bed, but in the hospital. What the hell? The last thing I remembered was being in my room, feeling kind of off.

I wanted to know what had happened and my arm was getting really uncomfortable so I shrugged my right shoulder, whispering "Lee, Lee, wake up. Get off my arm you big oaf."

Lee's head snapped up as he woke, looking me in the eyes, "Shelly, I'm so sorry! How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"Lee, you are freaking me out and you need to tell me what happened right this minute."

"You mean you don't remember?"

"Obviously not."

He filled in the blanks then, that June had found me passed out on the floor of my bedroom and called the ambulance. I had been breathing but not really responsive. The paramedics were worried that I'd hit my head when I fell. The doctors had run tests and while I head a nice bump on the back of my head, they hadn't found anything too serious. What they were unsure about was why I had blacked out in the first place.

My dad and June came into the room then, Dad rushing to my side, full of fatherly concern. "Oh Elley-bear, you had me so worried."

June smiled at me and said, "You gave me a bit of a fright there Elle, it's good to see you awake. I'll go tell the nurses."

The nurse who came into the room relegated Lee to one of the chairs with a very stern look. He made faces at me behind her back and I tried not to giggle as she checked me over. "All your vitals are good Miss Evans, but you need to stay quiet and rest for now. I'll get the doctor to come see you soon." She left and Lee scooted his chair next to the bed, taking my right hand in both of his again.

I looked over at my dad then. "Dad I'm okay really, I just don't know what happened. I felt a bit weird when I got home from work and that's the last thing I remember."

"It's alright Elle," he said, taking my other hand in his, careful not to disturb the IV. "I'm just happy you're back with us. Do you need anything?"

My stomach growled, giving me away and making us all smile a little. "Food I guess? I didn't really eat much yesterday." Or the day before that, I thought to myself. Working around food day and night had kind of killed my appetite.

Lee jumped up and said, "I'll go get you some stuff, Elle."

His mom put a hand on his chest and warned him, "Just some soup and crackers Lee, Elle needs to take it slow."

He promised to be good and disappeared out the door. June excused herself to go call Matthew who was babysitting Brad. The doctor came in and started flicking through my chart. "Hi Elle, my name is Dr Marten. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, I think," I replied in a small voice. I really hated hospitals and doctors. It all just made me think of Mom and how they hadn't been able to make her better.

"Good. Now you did bump your head when you fell, I'm sure that's a bit sore." I nodded carefully and she continued, "But there's no sign of any serious problems from that, which is good news. What I'm most concerned about Elle, is your bloodwork."

Now I was really starting to get worried. I sent up a silent prayer that it wasn't cancer. Anything but cancer.

"Elle, your iron levels are quite low, your blood sugar was low and overall you appear to be quite rundown."

I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and Dad rubbed my arm.

"I understand you've been working quite a lot and have lost a bit of weight recently." I nodded again.

"Have you been sleeping?"

I frowned, glancing at my dad before answering. "Not very well, I guess." I didn't go into detail about the fact that I had nightmares almost every night.

The doctor looked at me over her glasses and made another note in my chart. "I see. Well Elle, I believe you are suffering from exhaustion and mild anemia. Which doesn't sound very serious I know, but it can be and once your immune system is compromised you are susceptible to infection and other illnesses."

I didn't really know what to say, but my dad spoke up. "So, what kind of treatment will she need?"

"Well, we've got her on fluids and we'll be introducing iron, vitamin B, folate and some other supplements. Elle will need to stay in overnight and see a nutritionist about how to improve her iron intake going forward. She'll also need to get regular check ups with her usual doctor."

The doctor looked back at me then. "Elle, your father has told me a little of your history and I would like to give you a referral to a counsellor as well. Would you be willing to speak with someone about what's been happening in your life recently? And maybe not so recently?"

Well, this was freaking mortifying. All I could do was nod.

"Good," the doctor said then, moving towards the door. "I'll check in on you in the morning."

Dad agreed to take June back to the Flynn's after I promised that I would be fine, especially once Lee got back (where had he disappeared to anyway?). June left her car keys for Lee, in case I managed to get him to leave at some point to sleep in his own bed.

No sooner had they left then Lee arrived, bearing a tray with soup and crackers as promised and a paper bag that smelled far more appetizing.
"So this is for you...." He smiled, setting the tray down in front of me. "And this is for me..." grabbing the paper bag before sitting in the nearest chair and pulling out a burger.

"Oh, my God, you suck!" I told him, throwing the little package of crackers at his head. "Whatever happened to rule number 10?"

Rule no. 10 If one friend is sick/moody, the other one is responsible for bringing supplies to make them feel better

"Relax, Shelly," he laughed, taking another burger out of the bag. "I got you covered. Just had to make sure the parents had really left first." He placed it in front of me. "One cheeseburger with no pickle and extra bacon, just the way you like it."

"I deem your offering to be acceptable." I smiled at him and we both laughed.

Of course, I wasn't able to convince Lee to leave that night, but honestly I didn't try very hard. I was more than happy to wriggle over and make room for him again in the bed. He put his arm around my shoulders and I snuggled into him while we watched Christmas movies on the overhead tv until we both fell asleep.

Lee drove me home after I was discharged, my arms full of information from the doctor and the nutritionist. In stark contrast to the healthy meal plan I carried, was the huge candy bouquet that had arrived in my room that morning. All my favorites were there, along with a card that read:

Shelly,
You once told me that there wasn't much I couldn't do, but apparently even I can't fly in a snow storm.
Hope these brighten your day.
Noah x

It was my favorite gift that year.

I saw the counsellor for the first time in early January. Nathan was easy to talk to and our conversations over the next few months were far-ranging. We spoke about my favorite books and movies, my Mom's illness and her death, video games and Noah. He helped me realize that I had a tendency to take on too much responsibility and had trouble saying no. 

We identified patterns of behaviour that had plagued me in the last couple of years, keeping secrets from those I loved for fear that they would leave me if they knew the truth. Fear of abandonment and an inability to trust were recurring themes. Nathan encouraged me to broaden my social circle, to trust more widely before I could trust deeply.

This process was helped along when I started school, making friends with my classmates who I had so much in common with and joining an intramural soccer team. For the first time in a long time, my life started to feel full again.