The Missing Years - a kissing booth fan fiction

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Noah

I sat looking at my phone for a long time before I sent Elle that message. I didn't just want to suddenly call her, it seemed too weird after months of no contact. Part of me wondered how it had come to this, that I could have gone months without talking to Elle. The other part of me knew that it had been by design, both of us too upset or angry to even send a message after our encounter in summer. Since then it had just been easier to let the wound close up rather than ripping it open again.

The warm but infrequent contact we'd had last year had been replaced with silence. And while that had helped me to create and maintain a steadiness in my life that hadn't been there before, there was no avoiding this forever. Nor did I want to, I'd realised. What I'd said to my mom had been true. I wanted it to be okay for us to be in the same room at Christmas.

I wanted to be able to see Elle, to hear her laugh, even if I knew I couldn't be with her. I didn't want to completely cut her out of my life. What I didn't know, was how Elle herself felt. Would she be able to move past everything that had happened, including my behaviour last summer?

I could always phone Lee and ask him whether he thought she would answer my call. Then again, asking my brother if Elle would talk to me felt very middle school. Surely we were too old for that sort of nonsense now? So I manned up and pressed send.

Then, nothing.

I went back to studying but every half an hour or so I would pick up my phone to check for a response. Still nothing. I gave up just before midnight and went to bed. The next morning there was still no response. I went for my usual run and then to the gym. Still nothing. I showered and went to class. Still nothing.

It hadn't actually occurred to me that Elle might not respond at all. What was I supposed to do now? Her lack of response seemed to indicate that she would definitely not pick up the phone if I did go ahead and call her. The universe finally put me out of my misery as my phone pinged.

Elle: Sure, that would be fine. I finish class at 4 but I have to be at training by 5:30.

That seemed like a very specific window of time, but it worked for me. Taking into account the time difference, I had about 3 hours to kill before she would be free.

Me: Ok, talk soon.

Now what? I knew I needed to apologise, but beyond that I really had no idea what to say. I toyed with the idea of phoning Chloe to talk to her about it, but decided against it. It felt too ridiculous and she would definitely give me shit about it, possibly forever.

What was I doing? I ran my hands over my face and decided I needed to distract myself. I got up, gathered my laundry and went down to the basement to put it on to wash. I took a book to read while I waited, but even that didn't keep my mind from straying to Elle. I watched stupid videos on my phone. I paced. I played stupid games on my phone. I read some more of the book.

When my laundry was done, I went to grab something to eat. I saw a couple of friends and went to sit with them, talking for awhile to burn more time. Then, with an hour still left before I could call Elle, I stuffed my beanie back on my head, put my scarf and puffer jacket on again and walked outside. I didn't have any destination in mind, I just walked, hands shoved into my pockets. When I stopped, I realised I was at the footbridge over the river. It was a spot that Elle had loved when she'd visited me my freshman year.

I sighed and looked at my phone. It was 4:15 back in LA. Time to call. I scrolled to her contact and pressed the phone button. It rang a couple of times and then there she was.

"Hi Noah."

"Hi Elle," I sniffed.

"Are you okay?" She sounded worried, which made me laugh.