Chapter 38: The Truth Untold

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(Continued from Chapter 36: Past and Future)

Yoongi sighs before standing up again. "You want me to stop whoring around the city and only be yours. Call you my boyfriend and love only you. Is that right?", he asks the younger in a dark tone.

"Is it too much to ask for, hyung?", Jimin asks with hopeless teary eyes.

"It's not but you are asking this from the wrong person".

"I am sorry for asking you for the bare minimum", the younger says as a tear drop falls down his face. "I know it's tough for you. You don't know how to love people back and I honestly don't blame you. You have never known how it feels like to love someone so much that you'd happily lose your self-respect for them like I have for you so many times and I still don't regret it. I thought you needed someone to love you unconditionally because no one ever has. I tried to do that, hyung. I really did. But I don't know if I can do this anymore. I have never wanted anything in return but now I do. Atleast a name for this relationship that we have is all I need but apparently it's too much for you. So..", he continues wiping away his tears. "So, I think I am just gonna give up now. I don't have the courage to continue like this. I can't continue to love you unconditionally anymore. Maybe, I am selfish now..I don't know.."

"You aren't the selfish one here, Jimin", Yoongi cuts him off. "I am the selfish one. Not you. I will probably regret it the most if I let you go right now because you are right. Nobody has ever loved like you do but I also know that I won't be able to give you what you want and there is a limit to how selfish I can get. I cannot continue to exploit your feelings like this if I cannot promise you anything in return. I know you want to leave, I won't stop you and I won't bother you. I wish you well, Jimin. Always will!", Yoongi says with glistening eyes and a heavy heart. He wants to stop Jimin but he knows well that he has no right to so he decides to let him go.

"I...I wish you well too and I want you to know that don't hate you for this. I cannot hate you even if I wanted to. Just make sure I never see you again. Will you?", mumbles the younger, on the brink of breaking down as tears roll down his face uncontrollably and his heart hurts to the point that it could just stop and Jimin would still feel grateful that it did. He decides to leave and not turn back.


......



Yoongi's words from this morning broke Jimin in ways he never imagined was possible. His heartache needed cure and doctors couldn't do this for him so he decides to drown himself in alcohol to ease the pain. Alcohol cannot mend a broken heart but it can numb the body enough to deal with the pain. That's what he has been trying to do sitting in a bar before noon. Drinks after drinks, he lost his sobriety by the minute.

"Sir, I think you have had enough for today. We are going to have to ask you to close your tab and take a cab home", requests the bartender.

"I..I didn't say..I was done. I will tell you when I am done. Another drink please", Jimin says while stuttering. He is intoxicated to the point that he isn't able to form a simple coherent sentence without stuttering. His head feels light and everything around him seems blurry.

"Sir, I am extremely sorry but you have had way too much alcohol today. We cannot serve you anymore. You have already had 3 bottles of whiskey on your own", says the bartender.

"Yes..and open the forth one", Jimin smiles.

"Sir we cannot-"

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