A Soldier I Will Be | Destiel and Sabrifer |

Just Let Me Die

When Sam had heard those words, there was a moment in his mind where he froze, as if he could no longer process just what was happening. It was like time stood still, waiting for Sam to catch up with what was going on. It wasn't until Lucifer hung up that he snapped back to life and raced into the kitchen.

"Lucifer's going to kill himself." Sam said, not bothering to try to explain. He knew Gabriel wouldn't need it as he stood, his alarm flaring in his eyes. Dean's head shot up to meet his brother's gaze, and Sam knew that they had to go. Now.

They didn't leave with a bye, nor another word that was spoken as they raced to the car. Sam got in the driver's seat, barely waiting for Gabriel to close the passenger door before he was driving, going well over the speed limit for the neighborhood roads as he hurried to get home.

They're house wasn't very far, just ten minutes at the rate they were going. It was a tense time, and neither of them said anything, though Gabriel had his hand tightly gripped on Sam's a comfort to keep him calm throughout the whole thing.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Sam had the engine off and was jumping out of the car, rushing into the house with his long legs. He raced past the twin's room, knowing that Gabriel would go straight to them. They were alright, Lucifer was not.

It took Sam only seconds to reach the bedroom they all shared and his heart jumped to his throat as he saw Lucifer sitting on the bed, a gun pointed at his own head and tears staining his cheeks and shirt. He barely heard the sorry as he lunged forwards, trying to get the gun before it was too late.

Oh, how he thanked the gods when the bullet lodged into the wall beside them instead of Lucifer's skull.

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The first thing that Lucifer realized was that he was in fact not dead. It made tears begin to fall again as he felt the gun drop from his grip, a firm hand wrapped around his wrist. When he slowly opened his eyes, he came face-to-face with Sam, who was crying just as much as Lucifer was.

"Why?" Was the first words out of Sam's lips, and it hurt Lucifer even more to know that he had failed to make the one person that always believed in him happy. It was a painful truth that he was truly and utterly broken.

"I'm dragging you down." Lucifer choked out, feeling Sam's hand slide from his wrist to his palm, intertwining their fingers. A sob ripped from his throat, and he hugged Sam tightly, burying his face in his chest. "I'm a broken man. I don't deserve a family, or a life, or you."

"That's not true." Sam replied, hugging him tightly and gritting his teeth, his heart hammering from the thought of almost losing Lucifer. He heard crying downstairs, but then it soon quieted, and Sam knew Gabriel was with the twins. "Don't you ever believe that you don't belong here. We need you so much."

Lucifer's crying got even harder, and his grip on Sam tightened, as if he would let go, and Sam would no longer be there. "I can't even provide for you all. I'm a failure of a human being." Lucifer whimpered into Sam's chest, his nails digging into Sam's back.

"I don't know what you mean by that." Sam said, pulling away just enough to cup Lucifer's face, forcing him to meet his gaze, "But, you always do what you think is right, and I that's all I care about."

Tears fell from Lucifer's face again, but this time, he felt the weight of his guilt lessen, just a little bit. He was pulled back from the edge of death, and into the comfort of Sam's arms. It was a small change, but it felt like a world of difference for Lucifer.

"Sam? Luci?" Lucifer heard Carrie's voice, and his heart began hammering, feeling pain erupt in his chest that he had never felt before. The little girl had tears covering her face and Lucifer held out his arms, letting her run into them.

"We heard a noise, and it was scary, and..." She hiccuped, terse making her way down her face. Lucifer hugged her, letting out a soft gasp, wishing he could hold her and never let go. It felt like a reminder of what he almost had left. Sam wrapped his arms around the both of them, and he looked to the door, where he saw Gabriel and Jake standing.

Lucifer began crying again, and he motioned them forwards. Instantly, it was all a giant group hug, none of them without tears. It was when they all let go that Gabriel smacked Lucifer hard, making Carrie and Jake gasp in shock.

"How dare you scare us like that!" Gabriel shouted, tears streaming his face as Lucifer clutched at the spot that was going numb from the pain on his cheek. "Don't you ever do that to us again! Did you think we wouldn't miss you?! Do you know how much we love you?!"

Lucifer's eyes went soft as his younger brother hugged him tightly, squeezing him around the middle like he would never let go again. Lucifer hugged him back, feeling wetness soaking into the shoulder of his shirt, his hand in Gabriel's hair, moving soothingly.

"I'm sorry." Lucifer whispered, waiting until Gabriel pulled away before letting go. Sam wiped away the tears that were staining his cheeks.

"We should all sleep in here tonight. I think we need it." Sam suggested gently, picking up the still crying twins and pulling them into the bed. They wall got situated where it wasn't too crowded, and Gabriel got up to switch off the lights.

Right before everything went dark, Lucifer glanced up at the bullet hole in the wall, feeling a sense of regret for not have succeeded but relief that he was alive. His family was the only reason to live, but that was good enough in his eyes.

"We'll get you help." He heard Sam whisper before the man took his hand, squeezing it gently. He felt Gabriel slide into the bed behind Sam, Carrie between them and Jake between Lucifer and Sam.

Lucifer nodded, though he knew that Sam couldn't see him. He leaned over, being careful of Jake, and pressed his lips to Sam's for as long as he could, their lips moving languidly slow and delicate.

When they broke apart, they snuggled closer in, the warm from his family warming Lucifer like nothing he's ever felt. It was home.