Date Me, Mr. Archer

thirty eight | a promise of love

AN: i was thinking I would wait until we reached 70k but then I just said fuck it lol. enjoy. love you. please vote and comment.

A lot of theories proved heartbreak wasn't real. They said it was a metaphorical event, a breaking of trust, a shattering of a misplaced belief, that humans liked to name in order to not blame their faulty conscience and mistakes. For a long time, I’d believed that theory to be the truth.

If I had been a little smarter and thought with my brain rather than my heart, I’d would've never let Bernard near me to take advantage of me. If I’d been a little stronger and stood up for myself, my parents wouldn't have walked all over me without a care in the world. If I’d taken matters into my own hands and had met with my father when he’d asked me to instead of delaying it on Kyst’s persistence, maybe I would've been able to prevent this brutal chaos of a marriage.

But was it my fault that I put trust into a man I thought I loved? Was it my fault I loved my own parents, thinking all they wanted was my good? Was it my fault I put my faith in the man I knew I loved?

I didn't think so. Heartbreak was inevitable. It was the theory of the nature; With every good that comes, there's another good that goes. Even if Kyst had told me about the marriage earlier than it happened, I’d still have felt hurt because the niggling feeling about him only being with me for the deal would've stayed nonetheless.

And if I hadn't even fallen in love with him? Would it still have hurt to marry him? Again, yes. What would I feel,  marrying someone without love just a mere business deal, as if nothing more than a useless pawn dealt with when seen liable? There was no use assuming theories of things that hadn't happened.

I focused on the way he placed the cucumbers and tomatoes on the buttered bread before spreading a layer of cheese on it. He’d rolled his sleeves upto his elbows and if his veins weren't already tantalizing enough, when he wiped the excess mayonnaise from his bread and sucked the finger into his mouth, my breathing stalled. His veins protruded against his arms, showcasing his strong, proud muscles.

While battling all my complicated emotions today, I’d kind of forgotten just how stunningly gorgeous Kyst was. His hair had disentangled themselves from the way he had neatly set them from the ceremony as they say on top of his head in a messy bundle, flopping everytime he moved around. His strong jawline and high cheekbones, the light stubble on them, had me clenching my thighs in a futile attempt to forget the number of times I had the same stubble scratching the inside of my thighs as his extremely talented tongue worked magic on me.

I should be ashamed of fantasizing about the man who had constantly lied to me and fed off of my naïvety but couldn't a girl really just set aside her grudges for a second and admire this eye candy of a man who was making me some late lunch?

And besides, if we forgot the little mayhem incident, Kyst had not only loved every part of my body ferociously, he had also taught me to be brave and confident. He praised me for my boldness and laughed with me at my antics. He admired me and he protected me. But most of all, he let me shine. He saw me, he loved me and he stayed and that was more than anyone had ever done for me.